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In the past, people would save money to buy something special. Now people are more likely to buy items using a credit cards. To what extent do you think this is a positive trend?

In the past, people would save money to buy something special. Now people are more likely to buy items using a credit cards. B78Rd
With the increment in technology, credit cards are more favourable way to do shop rather than saving money and being awaited till collected some amount of money to purchase a special thing. This tendency has beneficial consequences to larger extent. To commence with, Firstly, before decades it had been seen commonly in people to save money for their earning to survive in a difficult times or to purchase special items. It would be the easiest method considered by them as, credit cards and Atm cards are not in image in past years. Secondly, people were more self centered about their paying. For instance, if someone needs a particular items instantly, though they wouldn't have thought about taking loan and purchase such items as Paying loans are more than the amount of that original paying. On the other hand, despite of having few drawbacks, credit cards are easily accessible to everywhere by each individual these days. One reason of this is, credit cards provide freedom to make a purchase of thier wanted stuff without worrying about cash money, as it allows them to pay later by. Moreover, it gives an opportunity to buy special things on the spot they do not have to wait for anything as people used to do in past times. To sum up, in the time of virtual platform, credit cards are more preferable to use as it allows people to pay afterwards. Hence, person has to work in terms of paying credit cards bills which is being vital.
With the increment in technology,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
credit
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cards
are more
Possible spelling mistake. 'favourable' is British English.
favourable
way to do shop
rather
than saving
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
and being
Did you mean "waited"?
awaited
till collected
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
amount of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
purchase
a special thing. This tendency has beneficial
The usual preposition to use after "consequences" is not "to". Did you mean "consequences of", "consequences for", or "consequences on"?
consequences to
larger extent.

To commence with,
Firstly
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
decades it had been
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
commonly
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to save
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
for their earning to survive in a difficult
Don't use indefinite articles with plural words. Did you mean "time"?
times
or to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
purchase
special items. It would be the easiest method considered by them as,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
credit
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cards
and
Possible spelling mistake found.
Atm
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cards
are not in image in past years.
Secondly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
were more self centered about their paying.
For instance
, if someone needs a particular
Don't use indefinite articles with plural words. Did you mean "item"?
items
instantly
, though they wouldn't have
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
thought
about taking loan and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
purchase
such items as Paying loans are more than the amount of that original paying.

On the other hand
,
Did you mean "despite" (or, alternatively, 'in spite of')?
despite of
having few drawbacks,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
credit
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cards
are
easily
accessible to everywhere by each individual these days. One reason of this is,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
credit
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cards
provide freedom to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
purchase
of
Possible spelling mistake found.
thier
wanted stuff without worrying about cash
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
, as it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allows
them to pay later by.
Moreover
, it gives an opportunity to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
special things on the spot they do not
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
wait for anything as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to do in past times.

To sum up, in the time of virtual platform,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
credit
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cards
are more preferable to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
as it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allows
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to pay afterwards.
Hence
, person
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
has to
work in terms of paying
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
credit
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cards
bills which is being vital.

IELTS essay In the past, people would save money to buy something special. Now people are more likely to buy items using a credit cards.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
252 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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