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According to a recent study, the more time people use their cellphones, the less time they spend with real human beings. To what extent, do you agree with the statement? You should use your own ideas, knowledge and experience and support your arguments with examples and relevant evidence You should write about 250 words.

According to a recent study, the more time people use their cellphones, the less time they spend with real human beings. You should use your own ideas, knowledge and experience and support your arguments with examples and relevant evidence You should write about 250 words. 3A9lb
Personally, I tend to believe that the people spend a lot of time by using cellphones. However, some other people think that they just need spend a few times with friends. There are 2 reasons why I agree that the people prefer spend a lot of time by playing their cellphones. Firstly, they can do any conversation on social media, such as Facebook, Instagram, Twitter and Line. Yet, they can meet their friends at mall or restaurant. It makes them lazy to go out with friends because they feel more comfortable in home by spending a lot of time with their phones. Consequently, if they spend too much time by using cellphones it makes their eyes hut. For example, they spend a lot of time by playing game all day and their eyes hurt because they see the phones all the time. Secondly, they can only spend time alone at home, even though they can do any conversation on social media and play game together on their cellphones. In my view, they need have a community with all the people by socializing because it makes them can do any conversation and have a lot of friends. For instance, they can have a community in their schools or colleges to make a good relationship and also have many friends because human need a good relationship by socializing with all the people. In the end, they need to spend more time with all the people by socializing and make a good community too. Additionally, they need spend a lot of time by hanging out with friends or eating in the restaurant.
Personally
, I tend to believe that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
spend
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lot
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
by using cellphones.
However
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that they
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
need
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
spend
a few
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
times
with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
friends
. There are 2 reasons why I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
prefer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
spend
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lot
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
by playing their cellphones.

Firstly
, they can do any conversation on social media, such as Facebook, Instagram, Twitter and Line.
Yet
, they can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
meet
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
friends
at mall or restaurant. It
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
makes
them lazy to go out with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
friends
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they feel more comfortable in home by spending a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lot
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
with their phones.
Consequently
, if they
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
spend
too much
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
by using cellphones it
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
makes
their eyes hut.
For example
, they
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
spend
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lot
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
by playing game all day and their eyes hurt
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
the phones all the time.

Secondly
, they can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
spend
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
alone at home,
even though
they can do any conversation on social media and play game together on their cellphones. In my view, they
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
need
have a community with all the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
by socializing
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
makes
them can do any conversation and have a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lot
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
friends
.
For instance
, they can have a community in their schools or colleges to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
make
a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
relationship and
also
have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
friends
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
human
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
need
a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
relationship by socializing with all the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
.

In the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
, they
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
need
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
spend
more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
with all the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
by socializing and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
make
a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
community too.
Additionally
, they
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
need
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
spend
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lot
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
by hanging out with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
friends
or eating in the restaurant.
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IELTS essay According to a recent study, the more time people use their cellphones, the less time they spend with real human beings. You should use your own ideas, knowledge and experience and support your arguments with examples and relevant evidence You should write about 250 words.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
269 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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