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In the past people used to travel to their place of work. With increased use of computers, the internet and smart phone, more and more people are starting to work from home. What are the advantages and disadvantages of this development?

In the past people used to travel to their place of work. With increased use of computers, the internet and smart phone, more and more people are starting to work from home. What are the advantages and disadvantages of this development? 1p3M
These days, there is common to work from home, what was not very popular in years ago. People have a lot of devices such as computers, smart phones and the most important the Internet, which made work from home possible and easier. There is a lot of pros and cons of this model of work. Some people fall in love in this model, but I find it not the best solution for employees. First of all, people who used to be commuters save a lot of time, which they used to spend on transport. This saved time they can spent with the family or pets. What is more, it makes opportunities to find a new hobby or take care about their health. Moreover, the home office has enormous impact on the environment because if less cars are used, the air is not as much polluted as used to be. On the other hand, there is a lot of disadvantages of home office. Firstly, people who work from home often work long hours without any gratification. I find it hard to evidence overtime during home office because employers don’t see employees in the office and do not know how long and hard, they work. Secondly, it can be dangerous for mentally health to work from home because workplace and home become the same space. It makes that all the time employees think about their work and are not able to relax. But more importantly, home office makes people lonely. People who work from home has limited contact with colleagues, what makes hard to build new relationships and good teams. To sum up, new model of work is very tempting because employees in some way can manage their work themselves, but it is only appearance. Although, the home office has a lot of advantages it can makes some dangerous for mentally stability of employees. I am not sure if positives compensate all risks.
These days, there is common to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
from home, what was not
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
popular in years ago.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
have a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lot
of devices such as computers, smart phones and the most
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
the Internet, which made
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
from home possible and easier. There is a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lot
of pros and cons of this model of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
fall in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
love
in this model,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
I find it not the best solution for employees.

This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".
First of all
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to be commuters save a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lot
of time, which they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to spend on transport. This saved time they can
The verb 'can' requires the base form of the verb: "spend"
spent
with the family or pets.
What is more
, it
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
makes
opportunities to find a new hobby or take care about their health.
Moreover
, the home
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
office
has enormous impact on the environment
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
if
Did you mean "fewer"? The noun cars is countable.
less
cars are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
, the air is not as much polluted as
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to be.

On the other hand
, there is a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lot
of disadvantages of home
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
office
.
Firstly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
from home
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
long hours without any gratification. I find it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
to evidence overtime during home
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
office
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
employers don’t
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employees
in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
office
and do not know how long and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
, they
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
.
Secondly
, it can be
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
dangerous
for mentally health to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
from home
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
workplace and home become the same space. It
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
makes
that all the time
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employees
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
about their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
and are not able to relax.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
more
importantly
, home
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
office
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
makes
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
lonely.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
who
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
from home has limited contact with colleagues, what
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
makes
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
to build new relationships and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
teams.

To sum up, new model of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
tempting
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employees
in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
way can manage their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
themselves,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
it is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
appearance. Although, the home
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
office
has a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lot
of advantages it can
The verb 'can' requires the base form of the verb: "make"
makes
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
dangerous
for mentally stability of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employees
. I am not sure if positives compensate all
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
risks
.
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IELTS essay In the past people used to travel to their place of work. With increased use of computers, the internet and smart phone, more and more people are starting to work from home. What are the advantages and disadvantages of this development?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
321 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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