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Due to the development and rapid expansion of supermarkets in some countries, many small, local business are unable to compete. Some people think that the closure of local business will bring about the death of local communities. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Due to the development and rapid expansion of supermarkets in some countries, many small, local business are unable to compete. Some people think that the closure of local business will bring about the death of local communities. x7p1
There are some countries where we can observe dynamic growth of the number of superstores. That phenomenon has influence on local traders who have to fight with usually bigger and stronger competitors. From some point of view that situation has negative impact on the local society. From my perspective this viewpoint is quite justifiable. Firstly, most supermarkets are part of a large multinationals which are in charge of more than one outlet. That is why supermarkets are unbeatable. Big companies are able to negotiate wholesale prices of the products with suppliers. In/As consequence, they can offer a consumer a lower price for the same product than local shops. What is more, their offer is more various than local shops because primarily consumers can choose from wider range of the product from different manufacturers and they have opportunities to buy everything under one roof. Secondly, a local shop often provides a livelihood for more than one generation of the family. The need to compete with a stronger entity on the market will most likely result in bankruptcy of a small business. Former traders have to cope with stressful situation trying to find a new job. In economic and social term, this is one of the examples of the death of the local community. To sum up, the discussed market trend has enormous impact on local society because it significantly changes customers’ behaviors and the way they make a living. In my opinion, despite the free-market, governments should protect local communities by advising how to change the business profile of local entrepreneurs who make a loss due to this trend.
There are
some
countries where we can observe dynamic growth of the number of superstores. That phenomenon has influence on
local
traders who
have to
fight with
usually
bigger and stronger competitors. From
some
point of view that situation has
negative
impact on the
local
society. From my perspective this viewpoint is quite justifiable.

Firstly
, most supermarkets are part of a large
multinationals
which are in charge of more than one outlet.
That is
why supermarkets are unbeatable.
Big
companies
are able to negotiate wholesale prices of the products with suppliers. In/As consequence, they can offer a consumer a lower price for the same product
than
local
shops.
What is more
, their offer is more various than
local
shops
because
primarily
consumers can choose from wider range of the product from
different
manufacturers and
they have opportunities to
buy
everything under one roof.

Secondly
, a
local
shop
often
provides a livelihood for more than one generation of the family. The need to compete with a stronger entity on the market will most likely result in bankruptcy of a
small
business. Former traders
have to
cope with stressful situation trying to find a new job. In economic and social term, this is one of the examples of the death of the
local
community.

To sum up, the discussed market trend has enormous impact on
local
society
because
it
significantly
changes
customers’ behaviors and the way they
make
a living. In my opinion, despite the free-market,
governments
should protect
local
communities by advising how to
change
the business profile of
local
entrepreneurs who
make
a loss due to this trend.
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IELTS essay Due to the development and rapid expansion of supermarkets in some countries, many small, local business are unable to compete. Some people think that the closure of local business will bring about the death of local communities.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
268 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
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    One main idea per paragraph
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  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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