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In the past people made better use their free time than today. Discuss both views.

In the past people made better use their free time than today. Nw36d
Time is a weapon by which we can easily solve every kind of problem. Free time plays an important role in everyone's life. A lion share of society favour it and whereas the rest go adverse it. To commence with, nowadays most of the youngsters use their time on unnecessary activities such as watching movies and crack jokes because they have have no knowledge about importance of time. Secondly, due to the technology, numerous children depend on mobile phone and they spend a lot time on playing games which put bad impact on eyes as well as health. However, many ancient individual think that time is more valuable and they use their time on crucial tasks like plantation and reading books related to culture and tradition to help the people enhance in their knowledge. Moreover, they spend their leisure time on playing outdoor games such as cricket and wrestling because it help to increase their stamina and sometimes, they helps of other individuals which suffer from problem. In conclusion, I think that using of time on important task is crucial for everyone. But some people are waste their time, so authority should conduct seminar in every country related to time, than everyone can saves theri time and use their time only important purpose.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Time
is a weapon by which we can
easily
solve every kind of problem. Free
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
plays an
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
role in everyone's life. A lion share of society
Possible spelling mistake. 'favour' is British English.
favour
it and whereas the rest go adverse it. To commence with, nowadays most of the youngsters
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
on unnecessary activities such as watching movies and crack jokes
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they
Possible typo: you repeated a word
have have
no knowledge about importance of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
.
Secondly
, due to the technology, numerous children depend on mobile
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
phone and
they spend a lot
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
on playing games which put
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
impact on eyes
as well
as health.
However
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
ancient individual
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
is more
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
valuable and
they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
on crucial tasks like plantation and reading books related to culture and tradition to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
enhance in their knowledge.
Moreover
, they spend their leisure
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
on playing outdoor games such as cricket and wrestling
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it
Did you mean "helps"?
help
to increase their stamina and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sometimes
, they
The pronoun 'they' must be used with a non-third-person form of a verb: "help"
helps
of other individuals which suffer from problem.
In conclusion
, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that using of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
on
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
task is crucial for everyone.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
are waste their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
authority should conduct seminar in every country related to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
, than everyone can
The verb 'can' requires the base form of the verb: "save"
saves
Possible spelling mistake found.
theri
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
purpose.
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IELTS essay In the past people made better use their free time than today.

Essay
  American English
1 paragraphs
213 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
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