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In the past people made better use of their free times than they do today. Do you agree or disagree with statement?

In the past people made better use of their free times than they do today. 0lYP9
It is widely believed that people are more inactive these days than they used to be. In my opinion, I completely agree with this statement, and the reasons will be presented below. The contemporary era is an era of modernization. There are innumerable reasons for this unhealthy lifestyle. First and foremost, the development of technology. Due to modernization, more and more digital devices such as computers and smartphones are becoming more and more popular. The applications in these devices, such as games, movies, and e-books, are so interesting that users cannot refuse them. As a result, the amount of time they spend playing sports is reduced. . In addition, thanks to the convenience of electronic devices, people can now more easily communicate with each other through social networking sites without traveling from one place to another, which is sometimes time-consuming and tiring. For example, friends can communicate with each other by making video calls or maintaining a conversation if their smartphones are equipped with Instagram, regardless of geographic distances. The another factor contributing to this sedentary life is the busy schedule of the world's citizens. This means they have to work hard or work at night to meet deadlines. This leads to fatigue and stress. For this reason, this is the only thing that officers and workers prefer to do as soon as they come home to rest. Instead of playing active sports like soccer or hockey, which are very demanding, people prefer to stay at home to have fun reading books or watching their favorite movies. By doing this, they can gain more energy to prepare for a new. day at work. If they don't freshen up, it is very likely that it will significantly affect their productivity at work. In conclusion, for the above reasons, I fully believe that people in the world today are less active than in the past.
It is
widely
believed that
people
are more inactive these days than they
used
to be. In my opinion, I completely
agree
with this statement, and the
reasons
will
be presented
below.

The contemporary era is an era of modernization. There are innumerable
reasons
for this unhealthy lifestyle.
First
and foremost, the development of technology. Due to modernization, more and more digital devices such as computers and smartphones are becoming more and more popular. The applications in these devices, such as games, movies, and e-books, are
so
interesting that users cannot refuse them.
As a result
, the amount of time they spend playing sports is
reduced
.
.
In addition
, thanks to the convenience of electronic devices,
people
can
now
more
easily
communicate with each other through social networking sites without traveling from one place to another, which is
sometimes
time-consuming and tiring.
For example
, friends can communicate with each other by making video calls or maintaining a conversation if their smartphones
are equipped
with Instagram, regardless of geographic distances.

The another factor contributing to this sedentary life is the busy schedule of the world's citizens. This means they
have to
work
hard
or work at night to
meet
deadlines. This leads to fatigue and
stress
. For this
reason
, this is the
only
thing that officers and workers prefer to do as
soon
as they
come
home to rest.
Instead
of playing active sports like soccer or hockey, which are
very
demanding,
people
prefer to stay at home to have fun reading books or watching their favorite movies. By doing this, they can gain more energy to prepare for
a new
.
day
at work. If they don't freshen up, it is
very
likely that it will
significantly
affect their productivity at work.

In conclusion
, for the above
reasons
, I
fully
believe that
people
in the world
today
are less active than in the past.
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IELTS essay In the past people made better use of their free times than they do today.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
313 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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    Currently is not available
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  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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