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In the past, most people used to travel to their place of work. With increased use of computers, the internet and smart phones, more and more people are starting to work from home. What are the advantages and disadvantages of this development?

In the 20th century, there is a significant changes of the way people working. In the past, most of people need to travel to their work place however, because of technology advance most people start to work from their home. In my opinion, the development will generate the advantages and disadvantages for human being and these point of view will be discussed below. Furthermore, there are many advantages from the advance of technology in the work place especially with this development people being allowed to work from their home. First, the flexibility of working hours and place therefore, people are not strict with office hours however, they still need to be on schedule to finish their works. Second, people do not waste their time to travel to the work place especially for who those lived far away from the company. For instance, because of traffic jam in Jakarta, people need to travel more than an hour for only within 10 km which waste a lot of time. Third, people have more chance to work and communicate with a company partner from different country through the internet. On the other hand, work from home also generate disadvantage for human life. First, this development will be impacted to the productivity of workers. The productivity will be declined as there are many distraction from surroundings. For example people has to deal with their kids, house work and many else therefore, people will not focus to do their jobs from home and results negative performance for the company. In addition, work at home will generate less social interaction and will lead to someone stress and loneliness. In conclusion, there are many different advantages and disadvantages that generated from work from home. It is suggested for people to have a work life balance to face this development due to avoid the negativity from the development.
In the 20th century, there is a significant
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changes
of the way
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people
working. In the past, most of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
need to travel to their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
place
however
,
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because
of technology advance most
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people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
from their home.
Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Consider rewording the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
In
my opinion, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
development
will generate the advantages and disadvantages for human being and these point of view will
be discussed
below.

Furthermore
, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
advantages from the advance of technology in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
place
especially
with this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
development
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
being
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
allowed
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
from their home.
First
, the flexibility of working hours and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
place
therefore
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are not strict with office hours
however
, they
still
need to be on schedule to finish their works. Second,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
do not waste their time to travel to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
place
especially
for who those
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lived
far away from the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
.
For instance
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of traffic jam in Jakarta,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
need to travel more than an hour for
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
within 10 km which waste
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
time. Third,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
have more chance to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
and communicate with a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
partner from
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
country through the internet.

On the other hand
,
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work
from home
also
generate disadvantage for human life.
First
, this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
development
will
be impacted
to the productivity of workers. The productivity will
be declined
as there are
Possible agreement error. The noun distraction seems to be countable; consider using: “many distractions”.
many distraction
from surroundings.
For example
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people
If ‘people’ is plural here, don’t use the third-person singular verb.
has
to deal with their kids,
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house
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work
and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
else
therefore
,
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people
will not focus to do their jobs from home and results
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
performance for the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
.
In addition
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
at home will generate less social interaction and will lead to someone
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stress
and loneliness.

In conclusion
, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
advantages and disadvantages that generated from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
from home. It
is suggested
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to have a
It seems that a hyphen is missing.
work life
balance to face this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
development
due to avoid the negativity from the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
development
.
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IELTS essay In the past, most people used to travel to their place of work. With increased use of computers, the internet and smart phones, more and more people are starting to work from home. What are the advantages and disadvantages of this development?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
310 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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