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In the modern world, others believe that kids who develop in less-money families can more easier adapt with real life than children who come from wealthy families

In the modern world, others believe that kids who develop in less-money families can more easier adapt with real life than children who come from wealthy families xabo1
In the modern world, others believe that kids who develop in less-money families can easier adapt to real-life than children who come from wealthy families. In my view, I strongly agree that teenagers from affluent families get better opportunities and are better prepared for future challenges. On the one hand, many people consider that families with less money prepare their children realistically. Youth adults learn to face obstacles in their childhood. They do not have a chance to access modern services like rich kids, such that they significantly attempt to become perfect. They, moreover, appreciate the value of money. If they want to purchase gifts, they will get great grades, and spend money on essential stuff. On the other hand, they have the highest facilities they need for education and career. Kids are studied well with great teachers, qualities, and friends. This means that they can access the best education which helps them to develop themselves and get a suitable career. This in conjunction with the relationship and finance background of their family, kids have a chance to access the essence of univer. In conclusion, money plays a pivotal role in people's social and family life, and it influences the way a child grows up and prepares to meet future challenges. Parents always spend perfect opposites for their children.
In the modern world, others believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
kids
who develop in less-money
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
families
can easier adapt to real-life than children who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
from wealthy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
families
. In my view, I
strongly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
teenagers
from affluent
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
families
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
better opportunities and are better prepared for future challenges.

On the one hand,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
consider that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
families
with less
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
prepare their children
realistically
. Youth adults learn to face obstacles in their childhood. They do not have a chance to access modern services like rich
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
kids
, such that they
significantly
attempt to become perfect. They,
moreover
, appreciate the value of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
. If they want to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
purchase
gifts, they will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
great grades, and spend
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
on essential stuff.

On the other hand
, they have the highest facilities they need for education and career.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Kids
are studied
well with great teachers, qualities, and friends. This means that they can access the best education which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
them to develop themselves and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
a suitable career. This in conjunction with the relationship and finance background of their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
kids
have a chance to access the essence of
Possible spelling mistake found.
univer
.

In conclusion
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
plays a pivotal role in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
's social and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
life, and it influences the way a child grows up and prepares to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
meet
future challenges. Parents always spend perfect opposites for their children.
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Learning another language is not only learning different words for the same things, but learning another way to think about things.
Flora Lewis

IELTS essay In the modern world, others believe that kids who develop in less-money families can more easier adapt with real life than children who come from wealthy families

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
219 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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