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students in high school should be allowed to study what they want, agree or disagree??

students in high school should be allowed to study what they want, agree or disagree? ? xmPe1
Generally speaking, education play a crucial part in our life. It is important because it helps students to expand their insight and improve themselves. if the people’s opinion are going to be considered, some of them would agree, others would not. In my view, I believe that students should not choose their the courses in high school for the following two principal reasons. One of the main reasons of not allowing the students to choose their courses is that they do not have enough experience at this age to choose the essential subjects. students at high school might be intrested in a minor courses that might not be beneficial for them in the future. A good example about that is me. When I was in high school, I was able to choose the courses that I want to study. One day I decided to study french as a foreign language, which was a biggest mistake that I took in my life. The problem is, I did not realize that until I graduated. When I came to apply at the college, most of the colleges did not accept me as my secondary language was french not english. It was a big lesson in my life. However, one argument put forward that preventing high school students from studying what they interguied in, it will negatively affect on their future and they might lose their willing to to learn anything new, it still convincing that putting a mandatory couses is a substantial step in student educational pathway. The other obvious concern about studying courses have been chosen by the school, it gives a good opportunity to the students to study a variety of materials, which in turn will enhance their knowledge. Moreover, the diversity of the materials will be beneficial as the students will acquire a new experience that might benefit them in finding a good job in the future. A good exmaple about that is my cousin. When he was in high school, he studied chemistry and physics. Even though he did not like it at that time, later he was able to get a job in a chemistry lab with a good salary. In contrast to students in other schools who were able to choose what they interested in, they were struggling in finding a proper job to support themselves and their family. In conclusion based on the aspects revealed above, I am of the view that in such cases we have to reach the balance in our life. In my perspective and the way I look at it, I prefer not to allow high school students to choose their courses for the reasons mentioned above.
Generally
speaking, education play a crucial part in our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
. It is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
to expand their insight and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
themselves.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
if
the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
’s opinion are going to
be considered
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
of them would
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
, others would not. In my view, I believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
should not
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
choose
their the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
courses
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
high
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
for the following two principal reasons.

One of the main reasons of not allowing the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
choose
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
courses
is that they do not have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
experience at this age to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
choose
the essential subjects.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
students
at
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
high
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
might
be
Possible spelling mistake found.
intrested
in a minor
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
courses
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
might
not be beneficial for them in the future. A
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
example about
that is
me. When I was in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
high
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
, I was able to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
choose
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
courses
that I want to study. One day I decided to study french as a foreign language, which was
Use "the" with the superlative.
a
biggest mistake that I took in my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
. The problem is, I did not realize that until I graduated. When I came to apply at the college, most of the colleges did not accept me as my secondary language was french not
Possible spelling mistake found.
english
. It was a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
lesson in my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
.
However
, one argument put forward that preventing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
high
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
from studying what they
Possible spelling mistake found.
interguied
in, it will
negatively
Did you mean "effect"?
affect
on their
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
future and
they
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
might
lose their willing
Possible typo: you repeated a word
to to
learn anything new, it
still
convincing that putting a mandatory
Possible spelling mistake found.
couses
is a substantial step in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
student
educational pathway.

The other obvious concern about studying
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
courses
have
been chosen
by the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
, it gives a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
opportunity to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
to study a variety of materials, which in turn will enhance their knowledge.
Moreover
, the diversity of the materials will be beneficial as the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
will acquire a new experience that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
might
benefit them in finding a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
job in the future. A
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
Possible spelling mistake found.
exmaple
about
that is
my cousin. When he was in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
high
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
, he studied chemistry and physics.
Even though
he did not like it at that time, later he was able to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
a job in a chemistry lab with a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
salary.
In contrast
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
in other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
who were able to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
choose
what they interested in, they were struggling in finding a proper job to support themselves and their family.

In conclusion
based on the aspects revealed above, I am of the view that in such cases we
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
reach the balance in our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
.
Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Consider rewording the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
In
my perspective and the way I look at it, I prefer not to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allow
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
high
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
choose
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
courses
for the reasons mentioned above.
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IELTS essay students in high school should be allowed to study what they want, agree or disagree? ?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
445 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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