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In the modern world, most of the youngster admires and follows to celebrities like media sports starts them, who are not acting good role models. I strongly believe that this is a negative development.

In the modern world, most of the youngster admires and follows to celebrities like media sports starts them, who are not acting good role models. I strongly believe that this is a negative development. bY3NP
In the modern world, most youngsters admire and follow to the celebrities like media and popular people, who are not acting good role models. I strongly believe that this is a negative development because of it they distracted from the aim of life and indulge in bad company. Firstly, some people distracted from the aim of life. As media and sports star who have some bad habits such as drinking, smoking or use of drugs and a lot of young people who are not mature and they follow these bad habits and implanted into their life and they not able to spend more time to their work and study and wastage their time on these bad habits. As a result, they will not able to achieve their aim and unsuccessful in their future life.
In the modern world, most youngsters admire and follow to the celebrities like media and popular
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
, who are not acting
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
role models. I
strongly
believe that this is a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
development
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of it they distracted from the aim of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
and indulge in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
bad
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
.

Firstly
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
distracted from the aim of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
. As media and sports star who have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
bad
habits such as drinking, smoking or
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
of drugs and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
young
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
who are not
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
mature and
they follow these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
bad
habits and implanted into their
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
life and
Did you mean "they are" or "they were"?
they
not able to spend more time to their work and study and wastage their time on these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
bad
habits.
As a result
, they will not able to achieve their aim and unsuccessful in their future
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
.
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IELTS essay In the modern world, most of the youngster admires and follows to celebrities like media sports starts them, who are not acting good role models. I strongly believe that this is a negative development.

Essay
  American English
2 paragraphs
134 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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