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In the modern world, many children spend a lot of time in front of computers, televisions and smartphones. This is very harmful to them. To what extent do you agree?

Children, today, are fond of using modern day electronic gadgets. These activities are harmful to them. I totally agree to the this for my own reasons, which I will discuss in this essay. Modern day gadgets like computers, televisions and mobile phones emit hazardous light rays which are very harmful to children’s eyes. While these activities might be entertaining, but at the cost of their eyesight! This is the prime reason why, today, children wearing spectacles is a common sight to see. One might inquire if my argument is really true? It, as a matter of fact, has long been proved by doctors that the light energy from screens of these appliances afflicts retina, which is one of the layers of the eyeballs, badly. God forbid, excessive exposure to computer screens might even leave a child blind! Second, when a child is engaged more in watching TV shows and playing games on a computer or mobile phone, he might miss out on his mental growth. Since, for a productive mental development, children ought to have an exposure to the outside world; how is a child supposed to indulge in outdoor activities with his age-fellows when all he does is press a button on TV remote or scroll through his smartphone screen? That is where anti-social behaviour takes its lead and such children grow up to be shy and, unfortunately, cowards! To sum up, electronic gadgets attract a lot of children in the current era. These are very harmful to them. In my opinion, such science-made products are the reasons why eyesight damage and anti-social behaviour in children are the talk of the day.
Children
,
today
, are fond of using modern day electronic gadgets. These activities are harmful to them. I
totally
agree
to
the this
for my
own
reasons, which I will discuss in this essay.

Modern day gadgets like computers, televisions and mobile phones emit hazardous light rays which are
very
harmful to
children’s
eyes. While these activities
might
be entertaining,
but
at the cost of their eyesight! This is the prime reason why,
today
,
children
wearing spectacles is a common sight to
see
. One
might
inquire if my argument is
really
true? It, as a matter of fact, has long
been proved
by doctors that the light energy from screens of these appliances afflicts retina, which is one of the layers of the eyeballs,
badly
. God forbid, excessive exposure to computer screens
might
even
leave
a child blind!

Second, when a child
is engaged
more in watching TV
shows
and playing games on a computer or mobile phone, he
might
miss out on his mental growth. Since, for a productive mental development,
children
ought to have an exposure to the outside world; how is a child supposed to indulge in outdoor activities with his age-fellows when all he does is press a button on TV remote or scroll through his smartphone screen?
That is
where anti-social
behaviour
takes its lead and such
children
grow up to be shy and, unfortunately, cowards!

To sum up, electronic gadgets attract
a lot of
children
in the
current
era. These are
very
harmful to them. In my opinion, such science-made products are the reasons why eyesight damage and anti-social
behaviour
in
children
are the talk of the day.
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IELTS essay In the modern world, many children spend a lot of time in front of computers, televisions and smartphones. This is very harmful to them.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
273 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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