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In the modern world it is no longer necessary to use animals for food, clothing or medicine. To what extent do you agree or disagree? Give reasons for your answer and include examples from your own experience.

In the modern world it is no longer necessary to use animals for food, clothing or medicine. o0Ww
Animals are just another wonderful creation of gods, just like humans. Some of them live in wilds and some are domesticated by humans. However, some animals are hunted down for commercial purposes. It is an activity which in my view, is no longer needed in modern world. In my essay, I will be providing some reasons for this. Firstly, killing and using them for variety of purposes, shakes the whole food cycle, set up by the mother nature. People need to realize that every animal plays a pivotal role in the environment. Their absence in food chain, could seriously harm the environment, the same environment in which humans live. For example, tigers are known to hunt boars, which are responsible for destructing food crops. If tigers are made extinct, then population of boars will increase which then will affect the food crop supplies. Secondly, every nutrient like proteins, vitamins and minerals are available in raw form and can be extracted from variety of plant species, which were earlier extracted from animal’s bones and muscles. This can be proven from various ancient texts, which clearly mentions usage of various herbal plants that were used to suffice the nutrients intake of human body. So there is no need to kill animals for food or to produce medicines. In contrast, there could be some economic effect, if animal’s commercial usage is banned. Some nations, like India, are the largest exporter of beef in the world, supplying nearly 20% to the world. The country’s economy is hugely dependent on this activity. Stopping it would shake the country’s economy. Moreover, people employed in slaughter houses or clothing industry will face the aftermath of this decision. To sum up, animal usage for food, clothing and medicines should be stopped as it is affecting the environment most. However, countries will face some economic impact, which countries can recover by opting different strategies. So in my view, in present scenario, there is no need to kill animals for variety of usage.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Animals
are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
another wonderful creation of gods,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
like
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
humans
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
of them
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
in wilds and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
are domesticated
by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
humans
.
However
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
are hunted
down for commercial purposes. It is an activity which in my view, is no longer needed in modern world. In my essay, I will be providing
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
reasons for this.

Firstly
, killing and using them for variety of purposes, shakes the whole
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
cycle, set up by the mother nature.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
People
need to realize that every
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animal
plays a pivotal role in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
environment
. Their absence in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
chain, could
seriously
harm the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
environment
, the same
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
environment
in which
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
humans
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
.
For example
, tigers
are known
to hunt boars, which are responsible for destructing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
crops. If tigers
are made
extinct, then population of boars will increase which then will affect the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
crop supplies.

Secondly
, every nutrient like proteins, vitamins and minerals are available in raw form and can
be extracted
from variety of plant species, which were earlier extracted from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animal’s
bones and muscles. This can
be proven
from various ancient texts, which
clearly
mentions
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
usage
of various herbal plants that were
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to suffice the
Apostrophe might be missing. Did you mean "nutrients'" or "nutrient's"?
nutrients
intake of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
human
body.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
there is no need to kill
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
or to produce medicines.

In contrast
, there could be
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
economic effect, if
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animal’s
commercial
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
usage
is banned
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
nations, like India, are the largest exporter of beef in the world, supplying
nearly
20% to the world. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country’s
economy is
hugely
dependent on this activity. Stopping it would shake the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country’s
economy.
Moreover
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
employed in slaughter
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
houses
or clothing industry will face the aftermath of this decision.

To sum up,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
usage
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
, clothing and medicines should be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stopped
as it is affecting the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
environment
most.
However
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
will face
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
economic impact, which
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
can recover by opting
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
strategies.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
in my view, in present scenario, there is no need to kill
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
for variety of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
usage
.
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IELTS essay In the modern world it is no longer necessary to use animals for food, clothing or medicine.

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
333 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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