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In the modern world, it is no longer necessary to use animals as food or other products, such as medicines and clothing. Do you agree or disagree?

In the modern world, it is no longer necessary to use animals as food or other products, such as medicines and clothing. JXN5
The argument over the use of animals to provide food, medicine, and clothing has been ongoing for years. Some people consider the killing of animals to produce food and other products to be unnecessary. In my view, I agree with this idea and will discuss several compelling reasons in this essay. These days, we are faced with many public health challenges regarding poor health conditions, including cancer and heart disease, caused by excessive consumption of meat on a regular and long-term basis. (1) Experts are calling for a change in human diets so that people can enjoy better health. Fortunately, many alternative meat products are available on the market. In fact, vegetarian diets are being favored by a growing number of people and can provide the same amount of nutrients for consumers. In particular, mushrooms and tofu contain high levels of protein, a kind of nutrient presumably only found in meat, and can therefore be used as a substitute. (2) Furthermore, medical experiments on animals and medicines manufactured from animals’ body parts received little endorsement in the past. Nowadays, herbs and many other types of plant-based medicines, such as ginseng, can cure many diseases, prolong human life expectancy, and aid medical practitioners in the treatment of many illnesses. More seriously, thousands of wild animals, such as tigers and minks, are killed each year, with their fur taken to produce coats and accessories for the fashion industry. (3) There are now similar products made from plants and artificial materials that can fulfill our needs. Animals do not have to suffer for our needs anymore. In conclusion, I think that our needs and desires do not justify the suffering of animals and animal products are no longer necessary. We can choose a different source of nourishment, medicine and clothing without any toll on wild animals.
The argument over the
use
of
animals
to provide food,
medicine
, and clothing has been ongoing for years.
Some
people
consider the killing of
animals
to produce food and other
products
to be unnecessary. In my view, I
agree
with this
idea
and will discuss several compelling reasons in this essay.

These days, we
are faced
with
many
public health challenges regarding poor health conditions, including cancer and heart disease, caused by excessive consumption of meat on a regular and long-term basis. (1) Experts are calling for a
change
in human diets
so
that
people
can enjoy better health.
Fortunately
,
many
alternative meat
products
are available on the market. In fact, vegetarian diets are
being favored
by a growing number of
people
and can provide the same amount of nutrients for consumers.
In particular
, mushrooms and tofu contain high levels of protein, a kind of nutrient presumably
only
found in meat, and can
therefore
be
used
as a substitute. (2)

Furthermore
, medical experiments on
animals
and medicines manufactured from
animals’
body parts received
little
endorsement in the past. Nowadays, herbs and
many
other types of plant-based medicines, such as ginseng, can cure
many
diseases, prolong human life expectancy, and aid medical practitioners in the treatment of
many
illnesses. More
seriously
, thousands of wild
animals
, such as tigers and minks,
are killed
each year, with their fur taken to produce coats and accessories for the fashion industry. (3) There are
now
similar
products
made from plants and artificial materials that can fulfill our needs.
Animals
do not
have to
suffer for our needs anymore.

In conclusion
, I
think
that our needs and desires do not justify the suffering of
animals
and
animal
products
are no longer necessary. We can choose a
different
source of nourishment,
medicine
and clothing without any toll on wild
animals
.
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IELTS essay In the modern world, it is no longer necessary to use animals as food or other products, such as medicines and clothing.

Essay
  American English
3 paragraphs
303 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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