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In the last few decades there have been more and more cases of famous people being hounded by the press. Some people think that famous people in the media have no right privacy. To what extent do you agree?

In this day and age, travelling around the world has become quite common because of better connectivity and cheaper flights. Some people believe that international tourism should be promoted because of its positive impacts. I totally agree with this view because tourism industry can be beneficial for a country and its people. First and foremost, the tourism industry can create a variety of job opportunities for the natives. As international tourism benefits travel agencies, transportation services and accommodation providers, there will be a huge demand for local employees in the job market. In the long term, promoting tourism can be an effective way for the local government to solve the unemployment problem. In addition to creating job opportunities, international tourism benefits the local economy in several other ways. Generally speaking, travelers from different countries are willing to spend money during their international trip. For example, it is common for Chinese tourists to spend a large amount of money on meals and luxury brands during their foreign trips. This can be a significant source of income for local stores, brands and restaurants. Moreover, there is no denying the fact that tourists love visiting heritage sites. By maintaining these sites properly, the government can showcase the rich culture and heritage of their country in front of an international audience. Better still, tourism is a green industry. It does not pollute the air or the soil. To conclude, after analysing the situation, it is not hard to see that the local community and the government benefit immensely from promoting international tourism in their country.
In this day and age, travelling around the world has become quite common
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of better connectivity and cheaper flights.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
international
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourism
should
be promoted
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of its
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
impacts. I
totally
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with this view
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourism
industry can be beneficial for a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
and its
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
.

First
and foremost, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourism
industry can create a variety of job opportunities for the natives. As
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
international
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourism
benefits travel agencies, transportation services and accommodation providers, there will be a huge demand for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
employees in the job market. In the long term, promoting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourism
can be an effective way for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
to solve the unemployment problem.

In addition
to creating job opportunities,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
international
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourism
benefits the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
economy in several other ways.
Generally
speaking, travelers from
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
are willing to spend money during their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
international
trip.
For example
, it is common for Chinese tourists to spend a large amount of money on meals and luxury brands during their foreign trips. This can be a significant source of income for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
stores, brands and restaurants.
Moreover
, there is no denying the fact that tourists
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
love
visiting heritage sites. By maintaining these sites
properly
, the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
can showcase the rich culture and heritage of their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
in front of an
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
international
audience. Better
still
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourism
is a green industry. It does not pollute the air or the soil.

To conclude
, after
Possible spelling mistake. ‘analysing’ is British English.
analysing
the situation, it is not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
community and the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
benefit
immensely
from promoting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
international
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourism
in their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
.
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IELTS essay In the last few decades there have been more and more cases of famous people being hounded by the press. Some people think that famous people in the media have no right privacy.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
261 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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