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In the last 20 years, there have been significant developments in the field of information technology(IT), for example, the world wide web and communication by email. However, these developments in IT are likely to have more negative effects than positive in the future.  To what extent do you agree with this view?

In the last 20 years, there have been significant developments in the field of information technology(IT), for example, the world wide web and communication by email. However, these developments in IT are likely to have more negative effects than positive in the future. 9nnj
The many remarkable innovations in the IT field like internet, world wide web and online social media are undoubtedly one of the greatest achievements of man. While it boasts of many advantages like speed and convenience, there are many negative aspects also. I feel the disadvantages of these enhancements in IT industry will outweigh its advantages in the long run. The Internet, social media and email communications have become almost intertwined with our daily life. But little do we realise that we are slowly developing into a society which thrives on instant gratification. As everyone has a mobile or laptop with them all the time, there is a high expectation to provide a response to a late night official email or to finish a work assignment over the weekend. In this competitive world, many of us succumb to these demands thereby spending dangerously long hours staring at our devices. As we spend more time “online”, we become disconnected or “offline” with our friends and family. Prolonged absence of face to face interaction is proven to be severely detrimental to mental well-being. It’s fair to say that more than the automobile industry, it’s the IT industry that has propelled a sedentary lifestyle. In the earlier days, people used to go to their local shops by foot to get their daily supplies. But nowadays almost all the shopping is done online so people hardly ever go out. Evidently the conveniences of IT, like online grocers, video consultation with doctor, online social networking etc has brought along with it a lifestyle with a less physical movement. Not just this lack of physical exercise cause many physical ailments, but it’s also known to be the cause of anxiety and depression. What use is an innovation if it hinders the natural way in which humans were created to interact. ? As a social being, humans crave contact with fellow beings by actually seeing, meeting, touching and conversing face to face. This helps to build trust and lasting relationships which are foundations for a happy life. In my opinion, the negative effects of these IT has started to take its toll on our young population as we can see many more bespectacled kids today than a few decades before, It has now become a imperative for the adults of this generation to take more responsibility to keep a check on their usage timings and regulate themselves and become an example for the next generation.
The
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
remarkable innovations in the IT field like internet,
If the term is a proper noun, use initial capitals.
world wide web
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
media are
undoubtedly
one of the greatest achievements of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
man
. While it boasts of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
advantages like speed and convenience, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
aspects
also
. I feel the disadvantages of these enhancements in IT industry will outweigh its advantages in the long run.

The Internet,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
media and email communications have
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
become
almost intertwined with our daily life.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
little
do we
Possible spelling mistake. 'realise' is British English.
realise
that we are
slowly
developing into a society which thrives on instant gratification. As everyone has a mobile or laptop with them all the time, there is a high expectation to provide a response to a late night official email or to finish a work assignment over the weekend. In this competitive world,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
of us succumb to these demands thereby spending
dangerously
long hours staring at our devices. As we spend more time
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
“online”
, we
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
become
disconnected or “offline” with our friends and family. Prolonged absence of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
face
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
face
interaction
is proven
to be
severely
detrimental to mental well-being.

It’s
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
fair
to say that more than the automobile industry, it’s the IT industry that has propelled a sedentary lifestyle. In the earlier days,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to go to their local shops by foot to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
their daily supplies.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
nowadays almost all the shopping
is done
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
hardly ever go out.
Evidently
the conveniences of IT, like
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
grocers, video consultation with doctor,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
networking etc has brought along with it a lifestyle with a less physical movement. Not
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
this lack of physical exercise cause
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
physical ailments,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
it’s
also
known to be the cause of anxiety and depression.

What
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
is an innovation if it hinders the natural way in which humans
were created
to interact. ? As a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
being, humans crave contact with fellow beings by actually seeing, meeting, touching and conversing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
face
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
face
. This
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
to build trust and lasting relationships which are foundations for a happy life. In my opinion, the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
effects of these IT has
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
started
to take its toll on our young population as we can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
more bespectacled kids
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
than a few decades
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
, It has
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
become
Use "an" instead of 'a' if the following word starts with a vowel sound, e.g. 'an article', 'an hour'
a
imperative for the adults of this generation to take more responsibility to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
check
on their usage timings and regulate themselves and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
become
an example for the
next
generation.
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IELTS essay In the last 20 years, there have been significant developments in the field of information technology(IT), for example, the world wide web and communication by email. However, these developments in IT are likely to have more negative effects than positive in the future.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
408 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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