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In the future people will not need to have schools, galleries, museums and libraries because everything from education ro culture and entertainment will be available online. Do you agree or disagree?

In the future people will not need to have schools, galleries, museums and libraries because everything from education ro culture and entertainment will be available online. JlMaD
Over the years, it has been argued that with the development of social networks, in the future students only need to learn through the internet without having to go to the schools, galleries, museums or libraries. As far as i am concerned, with my own justifications, i absolutely disagree on this viewpoint, as will now be clarified in detail. To begin with, the first argument against the mentioned view is that students need to go to school because school is a good environment for them to learn and acquire knowledge and they need to communicate with their friends. Because if they stay at home and through to the Internet, they will not contact and communicate with your friends and teachers for a long time. That leads to them being autistic and feeling alone. Another point wort mentioning is that studying in school is more efficent for students to obtain the knowledge as their teachers will always be by their side and answer all the questions through communication. So it will be easier for students to understand the lesson. Besides just-elaborated justifications against rhe discussed issue. A further convincing explanation is that museums and galleries are bery important. Because the museum is an important Cultural institution, a place to store valuable materials, Contributing to the protection and promotion of the cultural and historical heritage of the nation. Therefore, people work in the museum are mostly experts who are knowledge about the artifacts and know how to preserve and protect them in the best way. Moreover, people introduce the artifacts are mostly ordinary people and sometimes they will wrong intruduction content of the artifacts. So, we should not listen ro the introduction of rhe artifacts through social network, we should go to the museum to hear the experts intruduce and have the most accurate information about the artifacts. In the light of the above mentioned facts and arguments, one more time i would like to reaffirm my position that i definitely stand out against those who believe that online education, culture and entertainment are available in modern life. So people do not have to go to the schools, galleries, museums and libraries.
Over the years, it has
been argued
that with the development of social networks, in the future
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
need to learn
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
through
the internet without having to go to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
, galleries,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
museums
or libraries. As far as
Is this the personal pronoun "I"? It is spelled uppercase.
i
am concerned
, with my
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
justifications,
Is this the personal pronoun "I"? It is spelled uppercase.
i
absolutely
disagree on this viewpoint, as will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
be clarified
in detail.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, the
first
argument against the mentioned view is that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
need to go to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
is a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
environment for them to learn and acquire
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
knowledge and
they need to communicate with their friends.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Because
if they stay at home and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
through
to the Internet, they will not contact and communicate with your friends and teachers for a long time. That leads to them being autistic and feeling alone. Another point wort mentioning is that studying in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
is more
Possible spelling mistake found.
efficent
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
to obtain the knowledge as their teachers will always be by their side and answer all the questions
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
through
communication.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
it will be easier for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
to understand the lesson.

Besides
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
-elaborated justifications against
Possible spelling mistake found.
rhe
discussed issue. A
further
convincing explanation is that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
museums
and galleries are
Possible spelling mistake found.
bery
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Because
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
museum
is an
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
Cultural institution, a place to store valuable materials, Contributing to the protection and promotion of the cultural and historical heritage of the nation.
Therefore
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
work in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
museum
are
mostly
experts who are knowledge about the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
artifacts
and know how to preserve and protect them in the best way.
Moreover
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
introduce the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
artifacts
are
mostly
ordinary
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sometimes
they will
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
wrong
Possible spelling mistake found.
intruduction
content of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
artifacts
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
, we should not listen
Possible spelling mistake found.
ro
the introduction of
Possible spelling mistake found.
rhe
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
artifacts
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
through
social network, we should go to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
museum
to hear the experts
Possible spelling mistake found.
intruduce
and have the most accurate information about the artifacts.

In the light of the above mentioned facts and arguments, one more time
Did you mean "I"?
i
would like to reaffirm my position that
Is this the personal pronoun "I"? It is spelled uppercase.
i
definitely stand out against those who believe that online education, culture and entertainment are available in modern life.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
do not
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
go to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
, galleries,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
museums
and libraries.
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IELTS essay In the future people will not need to have schools, galleries, museums and libraries because everything from education ro culture and entertainment will be available online.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
360 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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