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In the future, more people will choose to go on a holiday in their own country and not travel abroad on holiday Do you agree or disagree?

Exploring unknown places in a distant land is a dream of most of the people. It is believed that in future domestic places will be visited more by local people rather than visiting places in foreign countries. Personally, I completely disagree with this statement because the curiosity of seeing a different place in a foreign land is undeniable and the improved economical status of individuals all across the world. The prime reason why is do not believe that local people will visit domestic places more and not travel to other nations. Nowadays, most of the people are well -educated and they have high paying jobs in all developed and developing countries across the globe. Consequently, they have adequate disposable income which makes them capable to afford travelling abroad. For example, according to a tourism survey Switzerland received 70% of holiday-maker from India and China. Thus, travelling foreign lands fit in the budget of many people. The secondary reason why I disagree with this statement is the curiosity to experience a different culture, heritage, traditions and cuisine is something which has been inspiring people to go to foreign lands from many decades. In other words, people who live in plain countries always go to visit county having mountains and hills and vice-versa. Take Thailand as an example, most of the tourists comes from countries having cold weather such as England. As a result, the holiday-maker will always go to exotic lands more than visiting place in countrysides. In conclusion, I reiterate my strong belief that international travelling will be the priority of holiday-goers rather than visiting local places in future. This is due to the economical growth of individuals in all nations and inquisitive nature of humans.
Exploring unknown
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
places
in a distant
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
land
is a dream of most of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
. It
is believed
that in future domestic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
places
will
be visited
more by local
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
rather
than visiting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
places
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
foreign
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
.
Personally
, I completely disagree with this statement
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
the curiosity of seeing a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
place
in a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
foreign
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
land
is undeniable and the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improved
Did you mean “economic” (=connected with economy)?
economical
status of individuals all across the world.

The prime reason why is
Consider using either the past participle “done” or the present participle “doing” here.
do
not believe that local
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
will visit domestic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
places
more and not travel to other nations. Nowadays, most of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are well
Use a comma before ‘and’ if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
-educated and
they have high paying jobs in all developed and developing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
across the globe.
Consequently
, they have adequate disposable income which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
them capable to afford travelling abroad.
For example
, according to a tourism survey Switzerland received 70% of holiday-maker from India and China.
Thus
, travelling
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
foreign
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lands
fit in the budget of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
.

The secondary reason why I disagree with this statement is the curiosity to experience a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
culture, heritage, traditions and cuisine is something which has been inspiring
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to go to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
foreign
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lands
from
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
decades.
In other words
,
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people
who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
in plain
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
always go to visit county having mountains and hills and vice-versa. Take Thailand as an example, most of the tourists
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
comes
from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
having
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
cold
weather such as England.
As a result
, the holiday-maker will always go to exotic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lands
more than visiting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
place
in countrysides.

In conclusion
, I reiterate my strong belief that international travelling will be the priority of holiday-goers
rather
than visiting local
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
places
The phrase ‘in future’ is British English. Did you mean: “in the future”?
in future
. This is due to the
Did you mean “economic” (=connected with economy)?
economical
growth of individuals in all nations and inquisitive nature of humans.
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IELTS essay In the future, more people will choose to go on a holiday in their own country and not travel abroad on holiday

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
286 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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