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In the future, More people choose to go on holiday in their own countryAnd not to travel abroad on their holiday do you agree or disagree

In the future, More people choose to go on holiday in their own countryAnd not to travel abroad on their holiday RN59V
It is undeniable fact that vacations provides a solace to mind and travelling gives a break from hectic schedule. Folks will give preference to visit in their own nation rather than going on tour in foreign countries. However, I do not favour this statement. I gave my credence towards that the choice of people will change in the future. One of the most plausible reason of my assertion is that travelling abroad will give individuals a vast knowledge to learn in depth about foreign cultures and traditions. To be more specific, every territory has multifarious rituals and norms. This opportunity will give them a change and to adopt some positive things in their on culture. In addition to this, travelling abroad gives them chance to buy unfamiliar goods which they are unable to buy from the local surroundings. For pragmatic instance, people can purchase unfamiliar jewellery which is very prominent in Dubai. Another credible factor could be that foreign land provides a break from their boredom life. As, they have been kept busy all the time at work, going on tour to different places will give them break from their timetable due to the peaceful and beautiful locations. Consequently, It will allow people to have immense pleasure and give a fresh start at work. Moreover, visiting in their own land do not contribute to much experience which person's can have by travelling overseas to spend holidays. In compendium, nevertheless, some people will choose to spend time in their own vicinities yet, I believe that masses are being more concerned towards having vast experience and knowledge also due to more opportunities available by going on tour out of country in upcoming future.
It is undeniable fact that vacations provides a solace to mind and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
travelling
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
gives
a break from hectic schedule. Folks will
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
give
preference to visit in their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
nation
rather
than going on tour in foreign countries.
However
, I do not
Possible spelling mistake. 'favour' is British English.
favour
this statement. I gave my credence towards that the choice of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
in the future.

One of the most plausible reason of my assertion is that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
travelling
abroad will
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
give
individuals
Uncountable nouns are usually not used with an indefinite article. Use simply "vast knowledge".
a vast knowledge
to learn in depth about foreign cultures and traditions. To be more specific, every territory has multifarious rituals and norms. This opportunity will
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
give
them a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
and to adopt
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
things in their on culture.
In addition
to this,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
travelling
abroad
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
gives
them chance to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
unfamiliar
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
goods
which they are unable to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
from the local surroundings. For pragmatic instance,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
purchase
unfamiliar
Possible spelling mistake. 'jewellery' is British English.
jewellery
which is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
prominent in Dubai.

Another credible factor could be that foreign land provides a break from their boredom life. As, they have been
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
kept
busy all the time at work, going on tour to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
places will
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
give
them break from their timetable due to the peaceful and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
beautiful
locations.
Consequently
, It will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allow
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to have immense pleasure and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
give
a fresh
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
at work.
Moreover
, visiting in their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
land do not contribute to much experience which person's can have by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
travelling
overseas to spend holidays.

In compendium,
nevertheless
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
will choose to spend time in their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
Possible spelling mistake found.
vicinities
yet
, I believe that masses are being more concerned towards having vast experience and knowledge
also
due to more opportunities available by going on tour out of country in upcoming future.
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IELTS essay In the future, More people choose to go on holiday in their own countryAnd not to travel abroad on their holiday

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
281 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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