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In the future many people will choose to go on holiday in their own country and not travel abroad on holiday . Do you agree or disagree? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

In the future many people will choose to go on holiday in their own country and not travel abroad on holiday. 7gan
One of the trends in the 21st century amongst humans is traveling abroad for holidays. Thoughts have been shared on the possibilities of people traveling back to their own country for holidays in future. This essay will discuss extensively why it agrees with those thoughts. With the rapid development and technological advancement of certain countries, her citizens would chose to travel back to experience such rather than going abroad. Countries like United Arab Emirates, Rwanda etc that are developing rapidly and advancing in her technology pursuit would soon have her citizens coming home for holidays instead of traveling abroad. According to Mr John Kigali, the Rwandan Minister for Internal Affairs, the pursuit for technological advancements is to place the country on the the World map as an advanced country in future. Another reason people will choose their own country for holidays is the discoveries of new tourists attraction in their country. Almost every countries like Nigeria, South Africa, Kenya, Ghana etc have discovered a new tourist spots in the last 5 years which have been explored by foreigners. According to Mr Seyi Martins, an immigrant in the United Kingdom, most of the tourist spots in his countries have been explored by foreigners while he has not even been to the 10% of such spots due to work and other engagements. In line with the above, it can be deduced that in the nearest future, people will rather choose to go to their own country for holidays instead of traveling abroad. Although traveling abroad can't be neglected by some people for holidays, just the participation level will be reduced.
One of the trends in the 21st century amongst humans is traveling
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
abroad
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
holidays
. Thoughts have
been shared
on the possibilities of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
traveling back to their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
holidays
Did you mean: "in the future"?
in future
. This essay will discuss
extensively
why it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agrees
with those thoughts.

With the rapid development and technological advancement of certain
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
, her citizens would
The verb 'would' requires the base form of the verb: "choose"
chose
to travel back to experience such
rather
than going
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
abroad
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Countries
A determiner is probably missing here: "like the United Arab Emirates".
like United Arab Emirates
, Rwanda etc that are developing
rapidly
and advancing in her technology pursuit would
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
soon
have her citizens coming home for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
holidays
instead
of traveling
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
abroad
. According to Mr John Kigali, the Rwandan Minister for Internal Affairs, the pursuit for technological advancements is to place the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
on
Maybe you need to remove one determiner so that only "the" or "the" is left.
the the
World map as an advanced
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
Did you mean: "in the future"?
in future
.

Another reason
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
will choose their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
holidays
is the discoveries of new
Apostrophe might be missing. Did you mean "tourists'" or "tourist's"?
tourists
attraction in their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
. Almost every
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
like Nigeria, South Africa, Kenya, Ghana etc have discovered a new tourist spots in the last 5 years which have
been explored
by foreigners. According to Mr
Possible spelling mistake found.
Seyi
Martins, an immigrant in the United Kingdom, most of the tourist spots in his
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
have
been explored
by foreigners while he has not even been to the 10% of such spots due to work and other engagements.

In line with the above, it can
be deduced
that in the nearest future,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
will
rather
choose to go to their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
holidays
instead
of traveling
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
abroad
. Although traveling
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
abroad
can't
be neglected
by
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
holidays
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
the participation level will be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduced
.
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IELTS essay In the future many people will choose to go on holiday in their own country and not travel abroad on holiday.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
268 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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