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In the era of globalization, the world is becoming more and more competitive.

In the era of globalization, the world is becoming more and more competitive. eK8BJ
In the era of globalization, the world is becoming more and more competitive. Also, the rate of unemployment is higher as compared to past. In such harsh conditions, citizens citizens believe that they should a accept unsatisfactory job or shortage of money. On the other hand, some believe that it is good to face such situations and try to fight against it. I agree that people should try to creat more opportunities in such conditions. To begin with, people are becoming more and more materialistic. They have to earn more to fullfill their livelihood. However, sometimes it is ardous to get good employment. For instance, due to covid 19 pendemic number of people loose their jobs. In result, people are restricted to few kind of workplaces. Also, they have to manage their lives with few money. Hence, I opinion that people should compromise only in harsh conditions. Otherwise, they should find new ways to get a good job. However, there are plethora of advantages when people fight with such problems. Firstly, if they unlike their jobs, then they try to be more creative. Consequently, a person is end up with lots of skills. Secondly, some end up with their own business. I am giving one example of my own life that, when I had no job, I used to make delicious cakes and sold it with the help of social media. Moreover it is wrong to continue the job which is unsetisfactory. In such cases, person may suffer from mental dipression. Sometimes employees suffer from under pressure, physical abuse, and over work loading. Further, underdeveloped nations are suffering from minimal salary vages. To conclude, in such bad situations individual should be more innovative, try to find new ways, and to withstand himself against such situation.
In the era of globalization, the world is becoming more and more competitive.
Also
, the rate of unemployment is higher
Comparison requires "than", not 'then' nor 'as'.
as
compared to past. In such harsh conditions,
Possible typo: you repeated a word
citizens citizens
believe that they should
Use "an" instead of 'a' if the following word starts with a vowel sound, e.g. 'an article', 'an hour'
a
accept unsatisfactory
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
or shortage of money.
On the other hand
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
believe that it is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
to face such situations and try to fight against it. I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
should try to
Possible spelling mistake found.
creat
more opportunities in such conditions.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are becoming more and more materialistic. They
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
earn more to
Possible spelling mistake found.
fullfill
their livelihood.
However
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sometimes
it is
Possible spelling mistake found.
ardous
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
employment.
For instance
, due to
Did you mean "COVID-19" or the alternative spelling "Covid-19" (= coronavirus)?
covid 19
Possible spelling mistake found.
pendemic
number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
Did you mean "lose" (= miss, waste, suffer the loss etc.)?
loose
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
. In result,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are restricted
Did you mean "too"?
to
Possible agreement error. The noun kind seems to be countable; consider using: "few kinds".
few kind
of workplaces.
Also
, they
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
manage their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
with
Possible agreement error. The noun money seems to be uncountable; consider using: "little money".
few money
.
Hence
,
Do not use a noun immediately after the pronoun 'I'. Use a verb or an adverb, or possibly some other part of speech.
I opinion
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
should compromise
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
in harsh conditions.
Otherwise
, they should find new ways to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
job.

However
, there are plethora of advantages when
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
fight with such problems.
Firstly
, if they unlike their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
, then they try to be more creative.
Consequently
, a person is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
up with lots of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
.
Secondly
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
Did you mean "ends"?
end
up with their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
business. I am giving one example of my
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
life that, when I had no
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
delicious cakes and sold it with the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
of social media.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Moreover
it is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
wrong
to continue the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
which is
Possible spelling mistake found.
unsetisfactory
. In such cases, person may suffer from mental
Possible spelling mistake found.
dipression
.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Sometimes
employees suffer from under pressure, physical abuse, and over work loading.
Further
, underdeveloped nations are suffering from minimal salary
Possible spelling mistake found.
vages
.

To conclude
, in such
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
situations individual should be more innovative, try to find new ways, and to withstand himself against such situation.
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IELTS essay In the era of globalization, the world is becoming more and more competitive.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
295 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
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