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In the developed world, average life expectancy is increasing. What problems will this cause for individuals and society? Suggest some measures that could be taken to reduce the impact of ageing populations. v.7

In the developed world, average life expectancy is increasing. What problems will this cause for individuals and society? Suggest some measures that could be taken to reduce the impact of ageing populations. v. 7
Many developed countries are experiencing substantial increases in life expectancy. This essay will highlight some of the main problems of this and suggest several possible approaches to reduce the adverse effects resulting from an ageing population. One of the major challenges of the growing population of elderly people is that it puts a heavy burden on the healthcare system. Older people are more vulnerable to chronic diseases, such as heart attacks or diabetes, that require special medical treatments to be effectively treated. The government might have to devote a larger budget to healthcare in order to serve the growing demands of an ageing population. Another problem facing a country with increasing life expectancy is that there will be an increase in the proportion of retired people claiming pension benefits, and a decline in the percentage of people of working age who pay income taxes. The combination of higher pension spending and lower tax revenues can seriously affect government spending and the economy as a whole. The government could implement a range of measures to deal with the problems of increasing life expectancy. The first solution would be to increase the importance of the private sector in providing healthcare and pensions. This would help reduce the burden on government spending. Another measure would be to encourage the immigration of young working adults, which could help increase tax revenues for the government. Finally, it is important to educate people about the importance of money management and saving for retirement. By doing this, when people reach their retirement age, they will have a certain amount of money to take care of themselves without the need to depend on their children or the government. In conclusion, various steps could be taken to tackle the problems that a country with an ageing population might encounter.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
developed countries
are experiencing substantial
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
increases
in life expectancy. This essay will highlight
If the text is a generality, 'of the' is not necessary. Did you mean "some"?
some of the
main
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
of this and suggest several possible approaches to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
the adverse effects resulting from an
Possible spelling mistake. 'ageing' is British English.
ageing
population.

One of the major challenges of the growing population of elderly
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
is that it puts a heavy burden on the healthcare system. Older
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are more vulnerable to chronic diseases, such as heart attacks or diabetes, that require special medical treatments to be
effectively
treated. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
might
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
devote a larger budget to healthcare in order to serve the growing demands of an
Possible spelling mistake. 'ageing' is British English.
ageing
population. Another
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problem
facing a country with increasing life expectancy is that there will be an
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
increase
in the proportion of retired
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
claiming pension benefits, and a decline in the percentage of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
of working age who pay income taxes. The combination of higher pension spending and lower tax revenues can
seriously
affect
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
spending and the economy as a whole.

The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
could implement a range of measures to deal with the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
of increasing life expectancy.
Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Consider rewording the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
The
first
solution would be to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
increase
the importance of the private sector in providing healthcare and pensions. This would
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
the burden on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
spending. Another measure would be to encourage the immigration of young working adults, which could
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
increase
tax revenues for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
.
Finally
, it is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
to educate
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
about the importance of money management and saving for retirement. By doing this, when
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
reach their retirement age, they will have a certain amount of money to take care of themselves without the need to depend on their children or the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
.

In conclusion
, various steps could
be taken
to tackle the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
that a country with an
Possible spelling mistake. 'ageing' is British English.
ageing
population might encounter.
3Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
19Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
5Mistakes

IELTS essay In the developed world, average life expectancy is increasing. What problems will this cause for individuals and society? Suggest some measures that could be taken to reduce the impact of ageing populations. v. 7

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
300 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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