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In the developed world, average life expectancy is increasing. What problems will this cause for individuals and society? Suggest some measures that could be taken to reduce the impact of ageing populations. v.12

In the developed world, average life expectancy is increasing. What problems will this cause for individuals and society? Suggest some measures that could be taken to reduce the impact of ageing populations. v. 12
Most of the people advise keeping a clean and organised environment in which we spend more time such as home or workplace. This essay will agree with this statement because it will help in staying hygienic and gives a positive feeling when we live with it. Firstly, it is essential to keep our living place cleaner to have a healthier life. If we are not going to clean our home continuously, the first impact on our body would be the dust allergy. In research conducted by WHO, one primary reason for respiratory problems was due to the dust mites, which are caused due to a polluted environment which we live. Additionally, it will create an unhygienic place when organic wastes such as vegetables, fruits, and meat were not regularly removed. Sometimes it will start to give foil smell which makes the situation worse. In summary, if we keep our places clean daily, we can have a happy, healthier life. Secondly, it provides a positive feeling when we keep our environment organised and clean. For instance, when things look dirty and disorder at home, it will create a negative impact. It will make us feel lazier and create a procrastinating mindset which in turn impacts our daily activities. As per a study, conducted on a set of employees, who produce effective results at office tends to keep an organised and neat workplace, which shows that keeping a place clean will help in a positive mindset to work better. In conclusion, this essay agrees with the importance of cleanliness of the places which we often spend more time such as home and office. Also, this essay highlighted the benefits such as healthier life and proper mindset when we keep our environment a lovely place to live.
Most of the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
advise keeping a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
clean
and
Possible spelling mistake. 'organised' is British English.
organised
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
environment
in which we spend more time such as home or workplace. This essay will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with this statement
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
in staying hygienic and gives a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
feeling when we
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
with it.

Firstly
, it is essential to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
keep
our living
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
place
cleaner to have a healthier life. If we are not going to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
clean
our home
continuously
, the
first
impact on our body would be the dust allergy. In research conducted by
Did you mean "whom"?
WHO
, one primary reason for respiratory problems was due to the dust mites, which
are caused
due to a polluted
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
environment
which we
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
.
Additionally
, it will create an unhygienic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
place
when organic wastes such as vegetables, fruits, and meat were not
regularly
removed.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Sometimes
it will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
to give foil smell which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
the situation worse. In summary, if we
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
keep
our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
places
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
clean
daily, we can have a happy, healthier life.

Secondly
, it provides a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
feeling when we
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
keep
our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
environment
Possible spelling mistake. 'organised' is British English.
organised
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
clean
.
For instance
, when things look dirty and disorder at home, it will create a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
impact. It will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
us feel lazier and create a procrastinating mindset which in turn impacts our daily activities. As per a study, conducted on a set of employees, who produce effective results at office tends to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
keep
an
Possible spelling mistake. 'organised' is British English.
organised
and neat workplace, which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
that keeping a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
place
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
clean
will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
in a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
mindset to work better.

In conclusion
, this essay
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agrees
with the importance of cleanliness of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
places
which we
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
spend more time such as home and office.
Also
, this essay highlighted the benefits such as healthier life and proper mindset when we
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
keep
our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
environment
a lovely
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
place
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
20Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
4Mistakes

IELTS essay In the developed world, average life expectancy is increasing. What problems will this cause for individuals and society? Suggest some measures that could be taken to reduce the impact of ageing populations. v. 12

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
294 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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