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In Thailand, it should be accepted to send elderly parents to nursing homes

In Thailand, it should be accepted to send elderly parents to nursing homes 2xaMM
Thailand rapidly approaches an aging society faster than you think. It is predicted that by 2040, Thailand will have an elderly ratio of 32. 1% due to the lower birth rate and medical developments that are making the population live longer. Hence, I think it may be better to upgrade the standard of warfare to make them have a better one and have a quality society. But before that, I think we should focus on nursing homes first because it may be the solution for families that cannot take care of their grandparents correctly or for other reasons. People in Thailand mostly look down on those who send an elderly parent to nursing homes, even if it is the best option for these families. So, we should normalize this thing in Thailand first. First of all, the caregiver should not be guilty of doing it. We trap with the concept of comprehensive gratitude thought. I agree that we should take good care of someone who raised us, but not everyone can do it for various reasons. Thai people believe it is morally wrong, sin, and unacceptable, even though it provides better care and service for their loved ones. For instance, Wanutsiny, whose father has Alzheimer's, tried hard to care for him, but he got worse, and she needed to work to pay for treatment. So, she decides to ask for help from nurse homes with a guilty feeling. She consulted with Praisan, the buddha monk, and he said that as long as it is the best option for your parent, it is the best option for now, and just keep visiting as often as you can. Secondly, it may be better for elderly parents as nursing homes can fulfill their needs. The research on the quality of life in nursing homes by Satyanee shows a positive result in all three main factors. The first one is physical. Most elderly people have no serious diseases, but nursing homes still check nutrition and health. The next one is mental. They were feeling better and more satisfied with life after the relief came. However, they are still a bit depressed due to too much free time. And lastly is social. They have a community and are enthusiastic about group activities. Thirdly, some people need to be taken care of properly due to health problems. Nursing homes provide proper nursing facilities and equipment to help residents with their medical health care needs. It is also associated with Wanutsiny's father case that I mentioned before. Some diseases are beyond caregiver ability. So, nursing homes is a significant role in this. A caregiver can be assuring and focus more on work as their love is in charge of the professional. Finally, many people struggle with juggling being a caregiver, committing to their jobs, and still meeting the needs of the rest of their families. So here comes the alternative, which is nursing homes. Anyway, both the caregiver and the elderly should first discuss it based on what they want and need. I persist on the fact that nursing homes should be accepted in Thailand as an option to take care of elderly parents since caregivers should not feel guilty about doing the best thing for their loved ones. The elderly can be fulfilled by the facilities and services there, and it is better for someone with a health problem.
Thailand
rapidly
approaches an aging society faster than you
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
. It
is predicted
that by 2040, Thailand will have an
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
elderly
ratio of 32. 1% due to the lower birth rate and medical developments that are making the population
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
longer.
Hence
, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
it may be
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
better
to upgrade the standard of warfare to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
them have a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
better
one and have a quality society.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
that, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
we should focus on nursing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
homes
first
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it may be the solution for families that cannot take
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
care
of their grandparents
correctly
or for other reasons.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
in Thailand
mostly
look down on those who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
send
an
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
elderly
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parent
to nursing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
homes
, even if it is the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
best
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
option
for these families.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
, we should normalize this thing in Thailand
first
.

This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".
First of all
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
caregiver
should not be guilty of doing it. We trap with the concept of comprehensive gratitude
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
thought
. I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
that we should take
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
care
of someone who raised us,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
not everyone can do it for various reasons. Thai
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
believe it is
morally
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
wrong
, sin, and unacceptable,
even though
it provides
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
better
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
care
and service for their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
loved
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ones
.
For instance
,
Possible spelling mistake found.
Wanutsiny
, whose father has Alzheimer's, tried
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
care
for him,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
he
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
got
worse, and she needed to work to pay for treatment.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
, she decides to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ask for
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
from nurse
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
homes
with a guilty feeling. She consulted with
Possible spelling mistake found.
Praisan
, the
Possible spelling mistake found.
buddha
monk, and he said that as long as it is the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
best
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
option
for your
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parent
, it is the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
best
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
option
for
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
, and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
visiting as
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
as you can.

Secondly
, it may be
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
better
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
elderly
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
as nursing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
homes
can fulfill their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
needs
. The research on the quality of life in nursing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
homes
by
Possible spelling mistake found.
Satyanee
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
result in all three main factors. The
first
one is physical. Most
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
elderly
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
have no serious diseases,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
nursing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
homes
still
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
check
nutrition and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
. The
next
one is mental. They were feeling
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
better
and more satisfied with life after the relief came.
However
, they are
still
a bit depressed due to too much free time. And
lastly
is social. They have a community and are enthusiastic about group activities.

Thirdly
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
need
to
be taken
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
care
of
properly
due to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
problems. Nursing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
homes
provide proper nursing facilities and equipment to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
residents with their medical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
care
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
needs
. It is
also
associated with
Possible spelling mistake found.
Wanutsiny
's father case that I mentioned
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
diseases are beyond
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
caregiver
ability.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
, nursing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
homes
is a significant role in this. A
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
caregiver
can be assuring and focus more on work as their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
love
is in charge of the professional.

Finally
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
struggle with juggling being a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
caregiver
, committing to their jobs, and
still
meeting the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
needs
of the rest of their families.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
here
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
comes
the alternative, which is nursing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
homes
. Anyway, both the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
caregiver
and the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
elderly
should
first
discuss it based on what they want and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
need
. I persist on the fact that nursing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
homes
should be
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
accepted
in Thailand as an
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
option
to take
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
care
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
elderly
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
since
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
caregivers
should not feel guilty about doing the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
best
thing for their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
loved
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ones
. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
elderly
can
be fulfilled
by the facilities and services there, and it is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
better
for someone with a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
problem.
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IELTS essay In Thailand, it should be accepted to send elderly parents to nursing homes

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
563 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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