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Some people think that parents should teach children how to be good members of society. Others, however, believe that school is the place to learn this. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Some people think that parents should teach children how to be good members of society. Others, however, believe that school is the place to learn this. V1pJ
Children's education plays an vital role in the society. Generally, children are getting educated either from the schools or from the parents and family. Although, number of parents believe that school is the best place for their kid to have education and environmental and social learnings. Whereas, quite a number of parents believe in educating the society morals by themselves. Where I personally agree that parents should teach children how to be good members of society due to the following mentioned reasons. Firstly, in my opinion, although school is the best place to get academic knowledge but consequently not for learning basic manners which teaches how to be a responsible and good member of the society. Secondly, Since their are many students in one class, faculties in schools can not give that one to one personal attention to each and every individual kid. However, nowadays their are few classes conducted on personal and social grooming in some of the schools which teaches students some basic manners and etiquette towards the society. Nevertheless, in my eyes, how well well a kid can learn about being a good human in society from their parents can not be learnt from any other sources. Since, it is said that every kid is the reflection of their either of the parent, which proves that every kid tries to follow most of the instances of their parents. Putting an example on it, I have a small kid in my family who always tries to replicate me or my husband. Hence, it become an obligatory responsibility on us to behave in proper manner against him as a result he could grasp good values and understand the vital role of basic etiquette that can make him be good members of society. In conclusion, Although kids can learn many things from their school, I believe parents are the best possible way for children to get educated about how to become good human in society.
Children's education plays
Use "a" instead of 'an' if the following word doesn't start with a vowel sound, e.g. 'a sentence', 'a university'
an
vital role in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
.
Generally
, children are getting educated either from the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
or from the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
and family. Although, number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
is the best place for their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
kid
to have education and environmental and social learnings.
“Whereas” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
Whereas
, quite a number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
believe in educating the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
morals by themselves.
“Where” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
Where
I
personally
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
should teach children how to be
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
members of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
due to the following mentioned reasons.

Firstly
, in my opinion, although
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
is the best place to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
academic knowledge
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
consequently
not for learning basic manners which teaches how to be a responsible and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
member of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
.
Secondly
, Since
Did you mean "there"?
their
are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
students in one
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
class
, faculties in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
can not give that one to one personal attention to each and every individual
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
kid
.
However
, nowadays
Did you mean "there"?
their
are few classes conducted on personal and social grooming in
If the text is a generality, 'of the' is not necessary. Did you mean "some"?
some of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
which teaches students
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
basic manners and etiquette towards the society.

Nevertheless
, in my eyes, how
Possible typo: you repeated a word
well well
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
kid
can learn about being a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
human in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
from their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
can not be
Possible spelling mistake. 'learnt' is British English.
learnt
from any other sources. Since, it
is said
that every
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
kid
is the reflection of their either of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parent
, which proves that every
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
kid
tries to follow most of the instances of their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
. Putting an example on it, I have a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
kid
in my family who always tries to replicate me or my husband.
Hence
, it
Did you mean "becomes"?
become
an obligatory responsibility on us to behave in proper manner against him
as a result
he could grasp
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
values and understand the vital role of basic etiquette that can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
him be
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
members of society.

In conclusion
, Although
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
kids
can learn
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
things from their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
, I believe
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
are the best possible way for children to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
educated about how to become
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
human in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
.
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IELTS essay Some people think that parents should teach children how to be good members of society. Others, however, believe that school is the place to learn this.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
325 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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