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Healthcare should be free for all citizens Irrespective their economical background Do you agree or disagree with this statement?

Healthcare should be free for all citizens Irrespective their economical background O1B7
First of all, healthcare is the fundamental right of all individuals so to obtain the maximum attainable physical and mental health. So, irrespective of race, religion, political belief, economic or social condition, every citizen should enjoy the highest attainable standards of health through free health care facilities. For instance, constitution of India has clearly mentioned right to health as one of the basic rights of citizens of India Secondly, diseases do not spare someone based on his/her economical status so all persons from every economic background should get optimal healthcare irrespective of their economic status. Heart lung, any other organ or metabolism related disease are common in both rich and poor person. Even drug or treatment for all these diseases also are same. For example, acitrom is an anticoagulant given to patient with heart related diseases which are prevalent in all economical classes of society Moreover, government is chosen for the purpose of fulfilling its duties towards its people and look after the interest’s people. Health care is one of the duties of government, therefore government should guarantee right to health to every citizen for further illustration, current government of India has started the program named “health For All” as promised by them in the election manifesto of their party to fulfil their commitment.
This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".
First of all
, healthcare is the fundamental
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
right
of all individuals
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
to obtain the maximum attainable physical and mental
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
, irrespective of race, religion, political belief, economic or social condition, every citizen should enjoy the highest attainable standards of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
through free
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
care facilities.
For instance
, constitution of India has
clearly
mentioned
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
right
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
as one of the basic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rights
of citizens of
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
India


Secondly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
diseases
do not spare someone based on his/her
Did you mean "economic" (=connected with economy)?
economical
status
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
all persons from every economic background should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
optimal healthcare irrespective of their economic status. Heart lung, any other organ or metabolism related
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
disease
are common in both rich and poor person. Even drug or treatment for all these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
diseases
also
are same.
For example
,
Possible spelling mistake found.
acitrom
is an anticoagulant
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
to patient with heart related
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
diseases
which are prevalent in all economical classes of
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
society


Moreover
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
is chosen
for the purpose of fulfilling its duties towards its
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
and look after the interest’s
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Health
care is one of the duties of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
,
therefore
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
should guarantee
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
right
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
to every citizen for
further
illustration,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
current
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
of India has
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
started
the program named
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
“health
For All” as promised by them in the election manifesto of their party to fulfil their commitment.
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IELTS essay Healthcare should be free for all citizens Irrespective their economical background

Essay
  American English
3 paragraphs
214 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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