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In spite of the advances made in agriculture ,many people around the world still go hungry . Why is this cause? What can be done about this problem?

In spite of the advances made in agriculture, many people around the world still go hungry. Why is this cause? What can be done about this problem? 9LQ3n
Undoubtedly, technology has ushered a sea change in agrarian sector. the problem of food starvation is being faced by many individuals in some parts of the globe. This essay will discuss both reasons as well as some possible remedies of this notion. At the outset, there are several causes of this statement. The predominant reason is that, burgeoning population. To explicate it, people are encountering the problem of scarcity of land due to increasing population. So they have no space to grow the variety of crops. therefore many individuals are fighting with hunger. Another reason is that, there are some areas where we cannot grow crops owing to barren land. To epitome, the headline of "The tribune " revealed that in Japan 55 % of individuals encountered the issue of food due to barren land because the land of Japan is infertile. Every lock has a key to tackle with this issue. There are myriad solutions of this problem. First of all, stringent laws should be enacted by government to mitigate this problem. They should make one child policy to control burgeoning population. this policy will highly beneficial for people. They will not have to fight with starvation. Secondly, individuals should grow those crops which are prepared by Genetic modification on barren land. These crops are fruitful for them. such as potato prepared by Genetic modification. To conclude, this essay discussed various reasons of this problem but I think it is the responsibility of both people as well as government to combat this issue
Undoubtedly
, technology has ushered a sea
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
in agrarian sector.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problem
of food starvation is
being faced
by
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
individuals
in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
parts of the globe. This essay will discuss both
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reasons
Probable usage error. Use "and" after 'both'.
as well as
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
possible remedies of this notion.

At the outset, there are several causes of this statement. The predominant
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reason
is that, burgeoning population. To explicate it,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
are encountering the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problem
of scarcity of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
land
due to increasing population.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
they have no space to grow the variety of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crops
.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
therefore
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
individuals
are fighting with hunger. Another
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reason
is that, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
areas where we cannot grow
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crops
owing to barren
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
land
. To epitome, the headline of
Use a smart opening quote here: "“".
"
The tribune
Don't put a space on both sides of a quote symbol
"
revealed that in Japan 55 % of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
individuals
encountered the issue of food due to barren
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
land
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
land
of Japan is infertile.

Every lock has a key to tackle with this issue. There are myriad solutions of this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problem
.
This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".
First of all
, stringent laws should
be enacted
by
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
to mitigate this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problem
. They should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
one child policy to control burgeoning population.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
this
policy will
highly
beneficial for
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
. They will not
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
fight with starvation.
Secondly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
individuals
should grow those
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crops
which
are prepared
by Genetic modification on barren
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
land
. These
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crops
are fruitful for them.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
such
as potato prepared by Genetic modification.

To conclude
, this essay discussed various
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reasons
of this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problem
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
it is the responsibility of both
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
Probable usage error. Use "and" after 'both'.
as well as
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
to combat this issue
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IELTS essay In spite of the advances made in agriculture, many people around the world still go hungry. Why is this cause? What can be done about this problem?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
253 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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