Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

Some people say that parents have the most important role in a child’s development. However, others argue that other things like television or friends have the most significant influence. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Some people say that parents have the most important role in a child’s development. However, others argue that other things like television or friends have the most significant influence. oRVyK
The child’s development is most important for human future. Some consider that parents play vital role in children development while other contra-indict that the television and friends have the most significant influence. In my opinion, both are the pillars of children development. Patents are the first teacher in children life that’s why they are highly responsible for initially development. They teach us how to talk, how to eat moreover, how to walk. For instance, toddlers learn language from his or her mother. Parents mentor their child with responsibility, emotion and sense between wrong and right. All their actions are for betterment of their infants. For example, during my childhood my parents had strict rules and regulation, I often used to dislike it, however today I can understand their purpose of being strict. While on the other hand, we can not deny the impact of television and friends on our little once. As, now the gadgets are curial part of our life. Children spent most of their time on television. To illustrate, children can learn English faster by watching cartoon on television. Additionally, there are many programs which help to develop the memory and can make our child more active or brilliant. While in school children communicate with their friends that help them to learn the social behavior. Additionally, they learn how to perform in a group. In conclusion, there is no doubt that primary growth and development depends on parents but television and friends are also necessary for the secondary maturation.
The child’s
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
development
is most
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
for human future.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
consider that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
play vital role in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
development
while other contra-indict that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
television
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
friends
have the most significant influence. In my opinion, both are the pillars of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
development.

Patents are the
first
teacher in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
life that’s why they are
highly
responsible for
initially
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
development
. They teach us how to talk, how to eat
moreover
, how to walk.
For instance
, toddlers
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learn
language from
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
his or her
mother.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Parents
mentor their child with responsibility, emotion and sense between
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
wrong
and right. All their actions are for betterment of their infants.
For example
, during my childhood my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
had strict
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
rules
and regulation, I
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to dislike it,
however
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
I can understand their purpose of being strict.

While
on the other hand
, we can not deny the impact of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
television
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
friends
on our
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
little
once. As,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
the gadgets are
Possible spelling mistake found.
curial
part of our life.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Children
spent most of their time on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
television
. To illustrate,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
can
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learn
English faster by watching cartoon on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
television
.
Additionally
, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
programs which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
to develop the memory and can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
our child more active or brilliant.
“While” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
While
in school
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
communicate with their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
friends
that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
them to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learn
the social behavior.
Additionally
, they
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learn
how to perform in a group.

In conclusion
, there is no doubt that primary growth and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
development
depends on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
television
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
friends
are
also
necessary for the secondary maturation.
What do you think?
  • This is funny writingFunny
  • I love this writingLove
  • This writing has blown my mindWow
  • It made me angryAngry
  • It made me sadSad

IELTS essay Some people say that parents have the most important role in a child’s development. However, others argue that other things like television or friends have the most significant influence.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
251 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Recent posts