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in spite of an advance technology in agriculture, many people still hungry

in spite of an advance technology in agriculture, many people still hungry 6Ld7l
Irony that today’s many countries in the world facing off a starvation. While the development in agriculture increase significant day by day. The main reason that I would like to discuss is lack of education in some nations like in Africa and several countries in Asia. In my view, it will be solve by law and education to help people from starvation. In some developed countries are still face to face with starvation, their society don’t have enough food due the fact they didn’t pursued an education or higher education. that the big point of this issue, they didn’t have any skills and ability to used an cutting-edge technology especially in agriculture. For example, in some region of my country there are community that faced a lack of technology in agriculture, for instance, they didn’t knew about how to use a synthetic fertiliser or other fancy tools to help harvest their field. Sadly, some of them even didn’t know when the best season and soil condition to harvest or make a rice field. This clearly that the lack of education that they didn’t get it from the government or outside their community. As a result, they are still hungry and lack of nutrients. This issue can be done with an education and law by the government programs such as free education for the harvest and local community about agriculture and make an easy agriculture policy. For example in education area, government can make some a fully funded scholarship to encourage a young community to contribute to their own society to reduce a starvation in their community. On the other way, government can make an agriculture project with professional educator to developed people skills to operating an advance technology. Additionally, law plays an essential role to help society from starvation, with make an easier policy or regulation, hence the people have an interest in agriculture. To sum up, it is clear, the main problem why people is still starving in the midst of advance technology in agriculture due the fact education play an important role to educated people about harvest skills. This problem can be solve by an education programs and savvy agriculture policy to motivate people in agriculture.
Irony that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
’s
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
in the world facing off a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
starvation
.
“While” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
While
the development in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
agriculture
increase significant day by day. The main reason that I would like to discuss is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lack
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
nations like in Africa and several
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
in Asia. In my view, it will be
Consider using the past participle "solved"?
solve
by law and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
from starvation.

In
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
developed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
are
still
face to face with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
starvation
, their society don’t have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
food due the fact they didn’t
The verb 'didn't' requires base form of this verb: "pursue"
pursued
an
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
or higher
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
that
the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
point of this issue, they didn’t have any
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
and ability to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
Use "a" instead of 'an' if the following word doesn't start with a vowel sound, e.g. 'a sentence', 'a university'
an
cutting-edge
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
especially
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
agriculture
.
For example
, in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
region of my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
there are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
community
that faced a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lack
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
agriculture
,
for instance
, they didn’t
The verb 'didn't' requires base form of this verb: "know"
knew
about how to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
a synthetic
Possible spelling mistake. 'fertiliser' is British English.
fertiliser
or other fancy tools to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
harvest
their field.
Sadly
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
of them even didn’t know when the best season and soil condition to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
harvest
or
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
make
a rice field. This
clearly
that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lack
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
that they didn’t
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
it from the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
or outside their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
community
.
As a result
, they are
still
hungry and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lack
of nutrients.

This issue can
be done
with an
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
and law by the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
programs such as free
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
harvest
and local
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
community
about
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
agriculture
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
make
an easy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
agriculture
policy.
For example
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
area,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
can
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
make
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
a
fully
funded scholarship to encourage a young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
community
to contribute to their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
society to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
starvation
in their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
community
. On the other way,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
can
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
make
an
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
agriculture
project with professional educator to developed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
to operating an advance
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
.
Additionally
, law plays an essential role to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
society from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
starvation
, with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
make
an easier policy or regulation,
hence
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
have an interest in agriculture.

To sum up, it is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
, the main problem why
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
If 'people' is plural here, don't use the third-person singular verb.
is
still
starving in the midst of advance
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
agriculture
due the fact
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
play an
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
role to educated
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
about
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
harvest
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
. This problem can be
Consider using the past participle "solved"?
solve
by an
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
programs and savvy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
agriculture
policy to motivate
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
agriculture
.
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IELTS essay in spite of an advance technology in agriculture, many people still hungry

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
368 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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