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"It is said that we talk to people not the same way in person as we do on social networking sites." Do you think social networking sites have been changing us and our lives?

"It is said that we talk to people not the same way in person as we do on social networking sites. " Do you think social networking sites have been changing us and our lives? d9qR7
Over the years, people have developed new technology, including social media, and I believe that social media has been changing us and our lives in a negative way. . In my opinion, social media has both advantages and disadvantages. The first advantage that we can realise from social media is that we can contact people from far away distances. Secondly, you can reach large audiences because there are millions of people using social media platforms. It’s a great opportunity for your business to reach a large number of people that are interested in your products or services. But, social media can decrease Face-to-Face communication skills by making you awkward and unusual to hear something and respond with a thoughtful message through the spoken word. Thirdly, social media can facilitate your laziness because instead of running to your friends you can message them. Social media makes life so convenient that it creates laziness. I think that social media is changing us and our live negatively. We should balance the offline time, the time when we do outdoors and the online time. In short, social media is changing us and our lives to be more convenient. We have to adapt this lifestyle, or not, we will be backward
Over the years,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
have developed new technology, including
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
, and I believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
has been changing us and our
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
in a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
way.
Don't put a space before the full stop
.
In my opinion,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
has both advantages and disadvantages. The
first
advantage that we can
Possible spelling mistake. 'realise' is British English.
realise
from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
is that we can contact
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
from far away distances.
Secondly
, you can reach large audiences
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
there are millions of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
using
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
platforms. It’s a great opportunity for your business to reach
Specify a number, remove phrase, or simply use "many" or "numerous"
a large number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
that
are interested
in your products or services.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
can decrease Face-to-Face communication
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
by making you awkward and unusual to hear something and respond with a thoughtful message through the spoken word.
Thirdly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
can facilitate your laziness
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
instead
of running to your friends you can message them.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
life
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
convenient that it creates laziness. I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
is changing us and our
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
negatively
. We should balance the offline time, the time when we do outdoors and the online time. In short,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
is changing us and our
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
to be more convenient. We
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
adapt this lifestyle, or not, we will be
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
backward
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IELTS essay "It is said that we talk to people not the same way in person as we do on social networking sites. " Do you think social networking sites have been changing us and our lives?

Essay
  American English
1 paragraphs
205 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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