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In some places, shops are open 24hours a day, seven days a week. Do you think it is good for customers, shop staff and our society as a whole

In some places, shops are open 24hours a day, seven days a week. Do you think it is good for customers, shop staff and our society as a whole pRLqd
Irrefutably, it goes without saying that shops have paramount significance for individuals as well as for society in the salad days of millennium. These days, umpteen stores serve people round the clock and I ponder it is extremely beneficial for customers, shop staff as well as for society also on account of myriad reasons which I will elaborate in the upcoming paragraphs. To embark upon, shops provide multifarious benefits by providing 24 hours service in a whole day and seven days a week. First and foremost benefit is, some shops such as chemist shops can provide medicines to the people who need it which is supremely imperative for them especially in the case of emergency. To substantiate it, there is an epitome of a person who met with an accident and his condition is immensely critical therefore, at that time maybe doctor requires a number of medicines or injections from chemist shop to do this treatment then, it is easy to get. If medical store is not open 24 hours, then there is a chance that patient can die owing to the unavailability of medicines. Another factor worth considering is that a handful of individuals are immensely foody. Consequently, if they are feeling hungry, in that case they can do outside and have any kind of food like Chinese, Italian and Indian etcetera, whichever is their favorite. Subsequently, an additional point prominent to notedown is crime rate will get decrease due to the fact that mostly criminals always do offense in night because everyone get sleep; however due to the 24 hours open outlets, there will be plethora of hustle and bustle. In addition to this, women will be safe in night. To exemplify, if women is doing night shift and coming back to home alone from their workplace. then as a result of open stores, they can travel alone ans they will feel safe. Furthermore, due to the whole day open shop, there will be an enormous benefit not only to the customers, but also to the shop staff as well because customers will purchase the products from outlet and shopkeeper will get the profit. Therefore, shop owner will provide the more salary to their staff instead of paying 8 hours salary, they have to give for 24 hours. Even, the economy of the country will also get proliferate. In compendium and give my profound opinion, I would say that when shops remain open throughout the day, it provides multitudinous pros to customers, store staff ans to the community too.
Irrefutably
, it goes without saying that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shops
have paramount significance for individuals
as well
as for society in the salad days of millennium. These days, umpteen
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
stores
serve
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
round the clock and I ponder it is
extremely
beneficial for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
customers
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shop
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
staff
as well
as for society
also
on account of myriad reasons which I will elaborate in the upcoming paragraphs.

To embark upon,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shops
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
provide
multifarious benefits by providing 24
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hours
service in a whole day and seven days a week.
First
and foremost benefit is,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shops
such as chemist
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shops
can
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
provide
medicines to the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
who need it which is
supremely
imperative for them
especially
in the case of emergency. To substantiate it, there is an epitome of a person who met with an accident and his condition is
immensely
critical
therefore
, at that time maybe doctor requires a number of medicines or injections from chemist
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shop
to do this treatment then, it is easy to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
. If medical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
store
is not
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
open
24
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hours
, then there is a chance that patient can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
die
owing to the unavailability of medicines. Another factor worth considering is that a handful of individuals
Possible agreement error. Did you mean "is"? (Some collective nouns can be treated as both singular and plural, so 'are' is not always incorrect.)
are
immensely
Possible spelling mistake found.
foody
.
Consequently
, if they are feeling hungry,
in that case
they can do outside and have any kind of food like Chinese, Italian and Indian etcetera, whichever is their favorite.

Subsequently
, an additional point prominent to
Possible spelling mistake found.
notedown
is crime rate will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
decrease due to the fact that
mostly
criminals always do offense in night
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
everyone
The pronoun 'everyone' is usually used with a third-person or a past tense verb: "gets", "got".
get
sleep;
however
due to the 24
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hours
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
open
outlets, there will be plethora of hustle and bustle.
In addition
to this, women will be safe in night. To exemplify, if women is doing night shift and coming back to home alone from their workplace.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
then
as a result
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
open
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
stores
, they can travel alone ans they will feel safe.
Furthermore
, due to the whole day
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
open
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shop
, there will be an enormous benefit not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
customers
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shop
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
staff
as well
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
customers
will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
purchase
the products from outlet and shopkeeper will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
the profit.
Therefore
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shop
owner will
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
provide
the more salary to their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
staff
instead
of paying 8
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hours
salary, they
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
give for 24
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hours
. Even, the economy of the country will
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
proliferate.

In compendium and give my profound opinion, I would say that when
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shops
remain
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
open
throughout the day, it
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
provides
multitudinous pros to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
customers
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
store
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
staff
ans to the community too.
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IELTS essay In some places, shops are open 24hours a day, seven days a week. Do you think it is good for customers, shop staff and our society as a whole

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
421 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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