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summary a passage and the lecture about three theories that explain about the reason of sea cows' extinction

summary a passage and the lecture about three theories that explain about the reason of sea cows' extinction 53Kom
While the passage introduces three various theories as the causes of Steller's sea cow extinction that were living in Siberia, the lecture expresses a different point of view. First, the passage mentions that the native population of Siberia was hunting these animals as the best food source in a hard environment, and massive huntings finally caused the vanishment of these animals. However, the lecture states that sea cows were enormous animals and had nine meters of height and 10 tons of weight, therefore, a sea cow could feed the population for few months. Besides, it mentions that the population of Siberia in those times was not vast, consequently, hunting cannot be a good and logical reason for sea cow's extinction. Second, the passage argues that a number of ecological changes caused the reduction of kelp, which was a food source of sea cows and this phenomenon lead to the death of sea cows. This contradicts the lecture that states if severe climate change happened in those spheres, it would have an effect on other marine animals such as whales that were living there. Since sailors and fishers did not report anything about the reduction of fishes in those waters, climate change did not cause the death of sea cows. Third, the passage mentions that after the entrance of European fur traders to the area, they started to hunt see cows very swiftly with their weapons and this brought the death of sea cows. However, the lecture states that by the time that Europeans arrived in Siberia, the population of these marines was already low. The lecturer believes that there was another reason for the sea cow's extinction that happened long before Europeans arrived and it must be considered as the main reason for this annihilation.
While the
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passage
introduces three various theories as the causes of
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Steller
's
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sea
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cow
extinction that were living in
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Siberia
, the
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lecture
expresses a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
point of view.

First
, the
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passage
mentions that the native
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population
of
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Siberia
was hunting these
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animals
as the best food source in a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
environment, and massive
Possible spelling mistake found.
huntings
finally
caused the
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vanishment
of these
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animals
.
However
, the
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lecture
states that
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sea
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cows
were enormous
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animals
and had nine meters of height and 10 tons of weight,
therefore
, a
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sea
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cow
could feed the
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population
for few months.
Besides
, it mentions that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
population
of
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Siberia
in those times was not vast,
consequently
, hunting cannot be a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
and logical reason for
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sea
cow's extinction.

Second, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
passage
argues that a number of ecological
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changes
caused the reduction of kelp, which was a food source of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sea
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cows
and this phenomenon lead to the death of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sea
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cows
. This contradicts the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lecture
that states if severe climate
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
happened in those spheres, it would have an effect on other marine
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
such as whales that were living there. Since sailors and fishers did not report anything about the reduction of fishes in those waters, climate
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
did not cause the death of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sea
cows.

Third, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
passage
mentions that after the entrance of European fur traders to the area, they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
started
to hunt
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cows
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
swiftly
with their weapons and this brought the death of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sea
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cows
.
However
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lecture
states that by the time that Europeans arrived in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Siberia
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
population
of these marines was already low. The lecturer believes that there was another reason for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sea
cow's extinction that happened long
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
Europeans arrived and it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
be considered
as the main reason for this annihilation.
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IELTS essay summary a passage and the lecture about three theories that explain about the reason of sea cows' extinction

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
295 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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