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In some developing nations, young children in rural areas have less access to education. Therefore, some people think that the most effective way to eradicate the above issue is to provide teachers anc schools. Meanwhile, others believe that it is more necessary to provide computers and Internet access.

In some developing nations, young children in rural areas have less access to education. Therefore, some people think that the most effective way to eradicate the above issue is to provide teachers anc schools. Meanwhile, others believe that it is more necessary to provide computers and Internet access. aQYpX
There are disparities in access to education between rural and urban communities in third world countries, and people have different views on how to tackle this. Some people believe that the most effective way to eradicate the above issue is to provide teachers and schools. some other opinions think that it is more necessary to provide computers and Internet access. In this essay, I will present the merits as well as demerits and provide my overall opinion. First of all, building educational infrastructure and providing specialized teachers to teach is the best and easiest way to resolve the difference between rural and urban area because of being very necessary to teach and learn in development country. Secondly, student can meet the teacher to interact with each other. On the order hand, school is a long-standing tradition and reliable. On the other hand, it is believed that mastering the computer use allows children from remote areas to find a good job. In the future, companies may require employees to be proficient in using computers in some areas and may receive higher salaries. Moreover, youth can self-study at home without having to go to class or being completely dependent on teachers, spending time more efficiently. so it can be said that technology is one of the best methods to resolve the problem. In conclusion, although technology has helped several children to progress more rapidly every now and then, I opine that teachers still play an irreplaceable role in the education process. In conclusion, although technology has helped some children progress faster, I believe that teachers still play an irreplaceable role in education.
There are disparities in access to education between rural and urban communities in third world countries, and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
views on how to tackle this.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
believe that the most effective way to eradicate the above issue is to provide
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teachers
and schools.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
some
other opinions
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that it is more necessary to provide computers and Internet access. In this essay, I will present the merits
as well
as demerits and provide my
overall
opinion.

This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".
First of all
, building educational infrastructure and providing specialized
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teachers
to teach is the best and easiest way to resolve the difference between rural and urban area
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of being
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
necessary to teach and learn in development country.
Secondly
, student can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
meet
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teacher
to interact with each other. On the order hand, school is a long-standing tradition and reliable.

On the other hand
, it
is believed
that mastering the computer
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allows
children from remote areas to find a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
job. In the future,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
may require employees to be proficient in using computers in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
areas and may receive higher salaries.
Moreover
, youth can self-study at home without having to go to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
class
or being completely dependent on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teachers
, spending time more
efficiently
.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
so
it can
be said
that technology is one of the best methods to resolve the problem.

In conclusion
, although technology has
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helped
several children to progress more
rapidly
every
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
and then, I opine that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teachers
still
play an irreplaceable role in the education process.

In conclusion
, although technology has
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helped
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
children progress faster, I believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teachers
still
play an irreplaceable role in education.

IELTS essay In some developing nations, young children in rural areas have less access to education. Therefore, some people think that the most effective way to eradicate the above issue is to provide teachers anc schools. Meanwhile, others believe that it is more necessary to provide computers and Internet access.

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
270 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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