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In some cultures the old age is more valued while in some cultures youth is more valued Discuss both views and give your opinion v.2

In some cultures the old age is more valued while in some cultures youth is more valued 2
In some countries, they appreciate old people, while in some countries, they think young people can contribute more to the society. To my point of view, the old age has a number of characteristics that hardly any young have. First, it is the great amount of experience and life truths. Old people, of course, must have undergone many problems in their life, so what they get from them is beyond what young people can imagine. Second, they have the ability to keep calm when facing up many issues in their life. Youth sometimes may be too ebullient to take decisions to deal with their problems. Last but not least, old people always take the long-term consequences into consideraton, which is crucial in planning to do something. On the other hand, the young generation have enough qualifications which can help them integrate into the modern world. They are creative and dynamic, and always have courage to make their dreams come true and to change this world into a better place to live. Moreover, their flexibility does help them adapt easily to new living environments and enables them to keep up with the development speed of this forever-changing world. In conclusion, I believe a developed society is the one which is controlled between the strong points of the old age and youth. Furthermore, it is important for the old to help the young promote their abilities as well as make up for their weaknesses and vice versa.
In
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
countries, they appreciate
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
old
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
, while in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
countries, they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can contribute more to the society.

To my point of view, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
old
age has a number of characteristics that hardly any
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
have.
First
, it is the great amount of experience and life truths.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Old
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
,
of course
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
have undergone
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
problems in their life,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
what they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
from them is beyond what
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can imagine. Second, they have the ability to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
calm when facing up
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
issues in their life. Youth
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sometimes
may be too ebullient to take decisions to deal with their problems. Last
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
not least,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
old
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
always take the long-term
The usual preposition to use after "consequences" is not "into". Did you mean "consequences of", "consequences for", or "consequences on"?
consequences into
Possible spelling mistake found.
consideraton
, which is crucial in planning to do something.

On the other hand
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
generation have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
qualifications which can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
them integrate into the modern world.

They are creative and dynamic, and always have courage to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
their dreams
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
true and to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
this world into a better place to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
.
Moreover
, their flexibility does
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
them adapt
easily
to new living environments and enables them to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
up with the development speed of this forever-changing world.

In conclusion
, I believe a developed society is the one which
is controlled
between the strong points of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
old
age and youth.
Furthermore
, it is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
old
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
promote their abilities
as well
as
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
up for their weaknesses and vice versa.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
16Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Mistakes

IELTS essay In some cultures the old age is more valued while in some cultures youth is more valued 2

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
245 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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