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Fashion trend is difficult to follow these days, and some people argue that we should not follow it. They think that we should dress what we like and feel comfortable. Do you agree or disagree? v.1

Fashion trend is difficult to follow these days, and some people argue that we should not follow it. They think that we should dress what we like and feel comfortable. v. 1
The development of businesses has given rise to the growing number of advertisements that can be seen anywhere, on streets or in the media. In my opinion, this phenomenon could be both positive and negative. On the one hand, advertising has brought a number of benefits for not only consumers but also businesses. Certainly, advertising provides details about newly launched products, which is important for consumers who are still unaware of such products. In fact, improving quality alone would be less effective if producers failed to commercialize their commodities. Putting it in another way, companies, entrepreneurs for example, spend a great deal of money on publicity materials in order to approach prospective customers. This, in return, generates higher profit and enhances those companies’ competitiveness in the market. On the other hand, the surge in quantities of commercials exerts several undesirable impacts on customers. First, instead of being well-informed about a new line of product, people are being bombarded with all kinds of advertisements. Those can be either deceptive or annoying; and such information overload has become a nuisance to many people, particularly when their favorite telecasts are constantly interrupted by irrelevant promotions. Second, advertising encourages people to purchase what they do not really need. Images of celebrities are used in many extravagant commercials, especially cosmetics, to stimulate people to purchase products that are being advertised. However, in reality, most of those products are of little use to buyers. In conclusion, advertisements of various types have become prevalent in modern society; and this is, in my view, advantageous and detrimental as well.
The development of businesses has
given
rise to the growing number of advertisements that can be
seen
anywhere, on streets or in the media. In my opinion, this phenomenon could be both
positive
and
negative
.

On the one hand, advertising has brought a number of benefits for not
only
consumers
but
also
businesses.
Certainly
, advertising provides
details
about
newly
launched
products
, which is
important
for consumers who are
still
unaware of such
products
. In fact, improving quality alone would be less effective if producers failed to commercialize their commodities. Putting it in another way,
companies
, entrepreneurs
for example
, spend a great deal of money on publicity materials in order to approach prospective customers. This, in return, generates higher profit and enhances those
companies
’ competitiveness in the market.

On the other hand
, the surge in quantities of commercials exerts several undesirable impacts on customers.
First
,
instead
of being well-informed about a new line of
product
,
people
are
being bombarded
with all kinds of advertisements. Those can be either deceptive or annoying; and such information overload has become a nuisance to
many
people
,
particularly
when their favorite telecasts are
constantly
interrupted by irrelevant promotions. Second, advertising encourages
people
to
purchase
what they do not
really
need. Images of celebrities are
used
in
many
extravagant commercials,
especially
cosmetics, to stimulate
people
to
purchase
products
that are
being advertised
.
However
, in reality, most of those
products
are of
little
use
to buyers.

In conclusion
, advertisements of various types have become prevalent in modern society; and this is, in my view, advantageous and detrimental
as well
.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes
You live a new life for every new language you speak. If you know only one language, you live only once.
Czech Proverb

IELTS essay Fashion trend is difficult to follow these days, and some people argue that we should not follow it. They think that we should dress what we like and feel comfortable. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
261 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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