Fashion trend is difficult to follow these days, and some people argue that we should not follow it. They think that we should dress what we like and feel comfortable. Do you agree or disagree? v.1
Fashion trend is difficult to follow these days, and some people argue that we should not follow it. They think that we should dress what we like and feel comfortable.  v. 1
The development of businesses has given rise to the growing number of advertisements that can be seen anywhere, on streets or in the media. In my opinion, this phenomenon could be both positive and negative.
On the one hand, advertising has brought a number of benefits for not only consumers but also businesses. Certainly, advertising provides details about newly launched products, which is important for consumers who are still unaware of such products. In fact, improving quality alone would be less effective if producers failed to commercialize their commodities. Putting it in another way, companies, entrepreneurs for example, spend a great deal of money on publicity materials in order to approach prospective customers. This, in return, generates higher profit and enhances those companies’ competitiveness in the market.
On the other hand, the surge in quantities of commercials exerts several undesirable impacts on customers. First, instead of being well-informed about a new line of product, people are being bombarded with all kinds of advertisements. Those can be either deceptive or annoying; and such information overload has become a nuisance to many people, particularly when their favorite telecasts are constantly interrupted by irrelevant promotions. Second, advertising encourages people to purchase what they do not really need. Images of celebrities are used in many extravagant commercials, especially cosmetics, to stimulate people to purchase products that are being advertised. However, in reality, most of those products are of little use to buyers.
In conclusion, advertisements of various types have become prevalent in modern society; and this is, in my view, advantageous and detrimental as well. 
The development of businesses has  
given
 rise to the growing number of advertisements that can be  
seen
 anywhere, on streets or in the media. In my opinion, this phenomenon could be both  
positive
 and  
negative
.
On the one hand, advertising has brought a number of benefits for not  
only
 consumers  
but
  also
 businesses.  
Certainly
, advertising provides  
details
 about  
newly
 launched  
products
, which is  
important
 for consumers who are  
still
 unaware of such  
products
. In fact, improving quality alone would be less effective if producers failed to commercialize their commodities. Putting it in another way,  
companies
, entrepreneurs  
for example
, spend a great deal of money on publicity materials in order to approach prospective customers. This, in return, generates higher profit and enhances those  
companies
’ competitiveness in the market. 
On the other hand
, the surge in quantities of commercials exerts several undesirable impacts on customers.  
First
,  
instead
 of being well-informed about a new line of  
product
,  
people
 are  
being bombarded
 with all kinds of advertisements. Those can be either deceptive or annoying; and such information overload has become a nuisance to  
many
  people
,  
particularly
 when their favorite telecasts are  
constantly
 interrupted by irrelevant promotions. Second, advertising encourages  
people
 to  
purchase
 what they do not  
really
 need. Images of celebrities are  
used
 in  
many
 extravagant commercials,  
especially
 cosmetics, to stimulate  
people
 to  
purchase
  products
 that are  
being advertised
.  
However
, in reality, most of those  
products
 are of  
little
  use
 to buyers. 
In conclusion
, advertisements of various types have become prevalent in modern society; and this is, in my view, advantageous and detrimental  
as well
. 
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes