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Agree or disagree? Freindship is waste of time and we have to spend our time on sth valuable. v.1

Agree or disagree? Freindship is waste of time and we have to spend our time on sth valuable. v. 1
Crime has been ubiquitous, throughout the past centuries, but of late, the main area concern is the level of brutality which is adopted while committing a crime is increasing in several countries. This essay will highlight, why people are so drawn towards committing crimes in a violent manner? And also provide some solutions to tackle this problem. One of the main reasons behind this can be attributed to the increase in the level of violence, as it is graphically depicted both on The Television series like Crime Patrol, Savdhan India, and in computer games such as The Blue Whale, The Game of Thrones and so on. While this is often responsible for making crimes more violent, as it can make a felon come up with fecund ideas or even novel techniques to perform the crime in a more vicious manner. The solution for this problem could come in the form of the government taking stricter measures to cut down such shows and games by half or even banning such heinous content, and coming with better serials which are filled with positivity as well as with motivation like Satyamev Jayatey, Salaam India etc. Another reason which leads to crime being performed in an aggressive manner can be credited to the politicians and even the sectarians who are quick to take advantage of educated as well as uneducated people by imparting outrageous demagogues (instigating speeches) in the name of religion. Which is instrumental in a person becoming a religious fanatic and taking to terrorism, far more easily. Of late, how many terrorist groups have come into the picture on account of mass manslaughter, For example, Al-Qaeda, Lashkar-e-Omar, LET. To resolve this, issue the racists should be heavily penalised, for making such provocative speeches and furthermore, he could even be totally banned from politics. Finally, the last reason behind the ferocity of committing criminal activities done in a gory pattern comes from the fact that many people have been taking to extreme alcoholism, drug abuse to deal with their tensions. In addition, it is proven fact that under the influence of such intoxicants a person loses his senses totally or even partially. Owing to this he may commit a rape, a murder or even a theft in a more lethal way than he could have even imagined to do if one had been sober. One obvious solution is that people could even take measures by cutting down their stress and frustration levels to resolve their issues, like they could include yoga or meditation in their lifestyle or in case of extreme addiction they could take the help of various rehabilitation centres. In short, although violence in crime is increasing on a day to day basis, it can certainly be dealt with, making more positive programmes on televisions, banning of bigots, and even by giving up on substance abuse.
Crime
has been ubiquitous, throughout the past centuries,
but
of late, the main area concern is the level of brutality which
is adopted
while committing a
crime
is increasing in several countries. This essay will highlight, why
people
are
so
drawn towards committing
crimes
in a violent manner
? And
also
provide
some
solutions to tackle this problem.

One of the main reasons behind this can
be attributed
to the increase in the level of violence, as it is
graphically
depicted both on The Television series like
Crime
Patrol,
Savdhan
India, and in computer games such as The Blue Whale, The Game of Thrones and
so
on. While this is
often
responsible for making
crimes
more violent, as it can
make
a felon
come
up with fecund
ideas
or even novel techniques to perform the
crime
in a more vicious manner. The solution for this problem could
come
in the form of the
government
taking stricter measures to
cut
down such
shows
and games by half or even banning such heinous content, and coming with better serials which
are filled
with positivity
as well
as with motivation like
Satyamev
Jayatey
, Salaam India etc.

Another reason which leads to
crime
being performed
in an aggressive manner
can
be credited
to the politicians and even the sectarians who are quick to take advantage of educated
as well
as uneducated
people
by imparting outrageous demagogues (instigating speeches) in the name of religion. Which is instrumental in a person becoming a religious fanatic and taking to terrorism, far more
easily
. Of late, how
many
terrorist groups have
come
into the picture on account of mass manslaughter,
For example
, Al-Qaeda,
Lashkar-e-Omar
,
LET
. To resolve this, issue the racists should be
heavily
penalised
, for making such provocative speeches and
furthermore
, he could even be
totally
banned from politics.

Finally
, the last reason behind the ferocity of committing criminal activities done in a gory pattern
comes
from the fact that
many
people
have been taking to extreme alcoholism, drug abuse to deal with their tensions.
In addition
, it
is proven
fact that under the influence of such intoxicants a person loses his senses
totally
or even
partially
. Owing to this he may commit a rape, a murder or even a theft in a more lethal way than he could have even
imagined to do
if one had been sober. One obvious solution is that
people
could even take measures by cutting down their
stress
and frustration levels to resolve their issues, like they could include yoga or meditation in their lifestyle or in case of extreme addiction they could take the
help
of various rehabilitation
centres
.

In short, although violence in
crime
is increasing on a
day to day
basis, it can
certainly
be dealt
with, making more
positive
programmes
on televisions, banning of bigots, and even by giving up on substance abuse.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes
A foreign language is like a frail, delicate muscle. If you do not use it, it weakens.
Jhumpa Lahiri

IELTS essay Agree or disagree? Freindship is waste of time and we have to spend our time on sth valuable. v. 1

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
475 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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