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In some cultures, children are often told that they can achieve anything if they try hard enough. What are the advantages and disadvantages of giving children this message?

In few traditions, youth are usually insisted on making up their minds on certain things to reach their goals. There are pros and cons for the above statement which is discussed in the essay and finally a conclusion is drawn. On one hand, if youth learn and understand to concentrate on any tasks they are doing, they surely will reach pinnacles in future. For example, if a child works hard with a guidance, he/she can walk through easily even if challenges are faced. Merits of this can be observed such as confidence boost in the individuals which helps one to make up their thought process to take up any strenuous tasks. On contrary, trying firmly on something without initial plans can be demotivating sometimes. Firstly, due to believing everything is possible, children may set unrealistic or illogical goals with delusion to achieve those. For instance, reaching sun is not possible for children no matter how hard they try. Secondly, pushing hard on goals affects one negatively. Youngsters these days usually spend hours together on their work instead of working smartly which results in unnecessary tensions. In conclusion, despite the benefits of advising children that hard work os the only option to achieve highest points in life, I believe that there are drawbacks which impacts child's physical and mental health.
In few traditions, youth are
usually
insisted on making up their minds on certain things to reach their goals. There are pros and cons for the above statement which
is discussed
in the essay and
finally
a conclusion
is drawn
.

On one hand, if youth learn and understand to concentrate on any tasks they are doing, they
surely
will reach pinnacles
in future
.
For example
, if a child works
hard
with a guidance, he/she can walk through
easily
even if challenges
are faced
. Merits of this can
be observed
such as confidence boost in the individuals which
helps
one to
make
up their
thought
process to take up any strenuous tasks.

On contrary, trying
firmly
on something without initial plans can be demotivating
sometimes
.
Firstly
, due to believing everything is possible, children may set unrealistic or illogical goals with delusion to achieve those.
For instance
, reaching sun is not possible for children no matter how
hard
they try.
Secondly
, pushing
hard
on goals affects one
negatively
. Youngsters these days
usually
spend hours together on their work
instead
of working
smartly
which results in unnecessary tensions.

In conclusion
, despite the benefits of advising children that
hard
work
os
the
only
option to achieve
highest
points in life, I believe that there are drawbacks which impacts child's physical and mental health.
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IELTS essay In some cultures, children are often told that they can achieve anything if they try hard enough. What are the advantages and disadvantages of giving children this message?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
219 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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