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In some countries, owning a home rather than renting is very important for people. Why might this be the case? Do you think this is a positive or negative situation?

In some countries, owning a home rather than renting is very important for people. Why might this be the case? Do you think this is a positive or negative situation? n0Dl
The ownership of a home is much more important in some countries for people than renting it. Although there are several possible reasons why these people are choosing to have their own home rather than renting it, I believe that this is a negative trend in financial and geographical terms for them. One reason for having a place to live for people is more important than renting is that they might want to live in their own home where they can live freely. In other words, if people own a home, they can do everything there according to their interest, such as painting and decorating the walls without the permission of owners. Another reason is that this is due to the problems people have when they are living as a renter. Signing a contract, paying the bills and other financial activities, for example, take more money and time as well, which is always impossible to be solved without the owners, so more people simply choose to own a home than renting. However, I believe that for people, owning a home rather than renting might be negative in some cases. One simple example is that according to financial perspective, people who want to own a home need to have more money than those who choose to rent because they have to have the house furnished by their budget. Another reason is that having a home can be a problem for the owner who lives near a dangerous area which is full of natural disasters like earthquake, which might result in losing their expensive homes as a result of the disasters. As these factors people come across when they own a home, this can be negative for them. In conclusion, while the ownership of a home is more important compared to renting for some people owing to above possible reasons, I think that this can also be negative in some cases.
The ownership of a home is much more
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
countries for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
renting
it. Although there are several possible
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reasons
why these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are choosing to have their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
home
rather
than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
renting
it, I believe that this is a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
negative
trend in financial and geographical terms for them. One
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reason
for having a place to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
live
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
If 'people' is plural here, don't use the third-person singular verb.
is
more
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
renting
is that they might want to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
live
in their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
home where they can
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
live
freely
.
In other words
, if
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
a home, they can do everything there according to their interest, such as painting and decorating the walls without the permission of owners. Another
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reason
is that this is due to the problems
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
have when they are living as a renter. Signing a contract, paying the bills and other financial activities,
for example
, take more money and time
as well
, which is always impossible to
be solved
without the owners,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
simply
choose to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
a home than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
renting
.
However
, I believe that for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
, owning a home
rather
than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
renting
might be
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
negative
in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
cases. One simple example is that according to financial perspective,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who want to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
a home need to have more money than those who choose to rent
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
have the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
house
furnished by their budget. Another
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reason
is that having a home can be a problem for the owner who
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lives
near a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
dangerous
area which is full of natural disasters like earthquake, which might result in losing their expensive
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
homes
as a result
of the disasters. As these factors
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
across when they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
a home, this can be
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
negative
for them.
In conclusion
, while the ownership of a home is more
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
compared to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
renting
for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
owing to above possible
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reasons
, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that this can
also
be
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
negative
in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
cases.
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IELTS essay In some countries, owning a home rather than renting is very important for people. Why might this be the case? Do you think this is a positive or negative situation?

Essay
  American English
1 paragraphs
319 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
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    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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