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In some cultures, children are often told that they can achieve anything if they try hard enough. What are the advantages and disadvantages of giving children this message?

In some cultures, children are often told that they can achieve anything if they try hard enough. What are the advantages and disadvantages of giving children this message? L6eR
In some cultures they says that if you try hard you can reach what do you want. If we talk about advantages. advantages is if you say somethink for your brain I will do and nothing is impossible, likely you will do that but it does not mean swim in the dream if you belive your self you can do, some parents they want to give you motivating and never give up because you can learn your mistake when you fall down you need to learn your mistake and repair it then stand up nobody directly reach achievement just you need to do your best. However lets talk about advantages. Disadvantages is they can think yes evething is possible I will be rich when I become at he age of fifteen and when they become 15 they will be let down(disappointed) so its good for give them confident and motivating but if they don’t come they can be furios and disappoint then they might be forget their confidence and belives I tried but I could not do if I try one more time already I wont do because I tried It can be hazardous.
In
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
cultures they
The pronoun 'they' must be used with a non-third-person form of a verb: "say"
says
that if you try
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
you can reach what do you want. If we talk about advantages.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
advantages
is if you say
Possible spelling mistake found.
somethink
for your brain I will do and nothing is impossible, likely you will do that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
it does not mean swim in the dream if
Did you mean "you believe"?
you belive
your self you can do,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
parents they want to give you motivating and never give up
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
you can learn your mistake when you fall down you need to learn your mistake and repair it then stand up nobody
directly
The pronoun 'nobody' is usually used with a third-person or a past tense verb: "reaches", "reached".
reach
achievement
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
you need to do your best.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
However
Did you mean "let's" (let's = let us; lets = 3rd person singular of 'let')?
lets
talk about advantages. Disadvantages is they can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
yes
Possible spelling mistake found.
evething
is possible I will be rich when I become at he
The pronoun 'he' is usually used with a third-person or a past tense verb: "ages", "aged".
age
of fifteen and when they become 15 they will be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
let
down(disappointed)
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
its
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
for give them confident and motivating
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
if they don’t
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
they can be
Possible spelling mistake found.
furios
and disappoint then they might be
Consider using the past participle "forgotten"?
forget
their confidence and
Possible spelling mistake found.
belives
I tried
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
I could not do if I try one more time already I
Please make sure you mean 'wont' (a habit), not "won't"/"won’t" (short for 'will not')?
wont
do
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
I tried It can be hazardous.

IELTS essay In some cultures, children are often told that they can achieve anything if they try hard enough. What are the advantages and disadvantages of giving children this message?

Essay
  American English
1 paragraphs
194 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
4.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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