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It is often considered that change is more beneficial to people than trying to avoid it and have everything remain the same. Do you think the advantages of change outweigh the disadvantages?

It is often considered that change is more beneficial to people than trying to avoid it and have everything remain the same. Do you think the advantages of change outweigh the disadvantages? mdQq
Some people think that changing something in daily routine will be more fruitful for people rather than do everything the same. while one section of society asserts that everything should remain the same as they are used to spend their life. In my perspective, changes are necessary and everyone should have some revolution in their life. To begin with the positives, one of the most vital facts is one can learn something new in his life. To state it, if a person gets a new job in any organization, on the one hand, while he can learn new things in his life, on the other hand, he can easily earn with new skills. Moreover, he can learn new work culture and work strategy from that new company. For example, A survey stipulated that in the USA 90% of the people prefer to move in the new company after every 1 or 2 years. This technique helps them to get exposure to the world and a chance to meet new people. Hence, changes are fruitful for human beings. On the other hand, changes in life or habit sometimes make people uncomfortable. To elaborate, people who bought their cloth from any particular brand or shop seem to remain in their comfort zone. on the contrary, if they shift their preferences, then there are higher chances they do not like it. To substantiate, Amazon, the biggest online shopping website reveals that 85% of their client, repeat their order without even checking new products in the market. They want to remain in a particular comfort zone. They do not want to use the method "Hit and trial". In conclusion, albeit there are some drawbacks of changing things such as difficulty in adapting them, it teaches people various skill and experience. In my opinion, the benefits of change clearly outweigh the disadvantages.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that changing something in daily routine will be more fruitful for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
rather
than do everything the same.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
while
one section of society asserts that everything should remain the same as they are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to spend their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
. In my perspective,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
changes
are necessary and everyone should have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
revolution in their life.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with the positives, one of the most vital facts is one can learn something
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
in his
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
. To state it, if a person
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
gets
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
job in any organization, on the one hand, while he can learn
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
things in his
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
,
on the other hand
, he can
easily
earn with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
.
Moreover
, he can learn
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
work culture and work strategy from that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
.
For example
, A survey stipulated that in the USA 90% of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
prefer to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
move
in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
after every 1 or 2 years. This technique
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
them to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
exposure to the world and a chance to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
meet
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
.
Hence
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
changes
are fruitful for human beings.

On the other hand
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
changes
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
or habit
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sometimes
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
uncomfortable. To elaborate,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bought
their cloth from any particular brand or shop seem to remain in their comfort zone.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
on
the contrary, if they shift their preferences, then there are higher chances they do not like it. To substantiate, Amazon, the biggest online shopping website reveals that 85% of their client, repeat their order without even checking
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
products in the market. They want to remain in a particular comfort zone. They do not want to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
the method
Use a smart opening quote here: "“".
"
Hit and trial
Use a smart closing quote here: "”".
"
.

In conclusion
, albeit there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
drawbacks of changing things such as difficulty in adapting them, it teaches
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
various
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skill
and experience. In my opinion, the benefits of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
change
clearly
outweigh the disadvantages.

IELTS essay It is often considered that change is more beneficial to people than trying to avoid it and have everything remain the same. Do you think the advantages of change outweigh the disadvantages?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
307 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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