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In some cultures, children are often told that they can achieve anything if they try hard enough. What are the advantages and disadvantages of giving children this message?

In some cultures, children are often told that they can achieve anything if they try hard enough. What are the advantages and disadvantages of giving children this message? BXlw
In many countries, it is common for children to be told anything is possible if they set their mind to it. In my opinion, this can lead to great achievements, but for the majority engenders feelings of inadequacy. Some people benefit from a positive emphasis on effort and achievement. The best examples of this come from the United States where famously every child is encouraged to pursue their dreams, no matter how aspirational and unrealistic. Those who succeed serve as role models and evidence the efficacy of pushing children to try to achieve anything. For example, the number of successful entrepreneurs and artists who have left their mark globally from the U. S. A is staggering and includes figures like Steve Jobs, Bill Gates, Michael Jackson, Warren Buffet, and Will Smith. These people often give encouraging interviews where they reiterate the importance of having passion and grit to achieve transcendent fame. However, the cases above are exceptions and considering them the rule only hurts the self-esteem of the general populace. When an individual is told they can accomplish anything through sheer determination and they then fail to become rich and successful, they have no one to blame but themselves. The truth about the connection between effort and achievement is more nuanced than the platitude typically supplied to children. There is a complex interplay between talent, effort, and luck required to produce great achievements and all high-achievers are subject to determining factors beyond simply hard work. Teaching children otherwise sets them up for self-doubt, disillusionment, and delusions of grandeur that will weigh on them throughout adulthood. Hard work is an essential ingredient but supposing it guarantees success will only lead to resentment towards oneself and others. In conclusion, while teaching children that hard work ensures achievement produces great individuals, overall, it breeds insecurity. Parents ought to instead encourage a positive mindset with less lofty expectations.
In
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
countries, it is common for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
to be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
told
anything is possible if they set their mind to it. In my opinion, this can lead to great
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
achievements
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
for the majority engenders feelings of inadequacy.

This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
benefit from a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
emphasis on effort and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
achievement
. The best examples of this
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
from the United States where
famously
every child
is encouraged
to pursue their dreams, no matter how aspirational and unrealistic. Those who succeed serve as role models and evidence the efficacy of pushing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
to try to achieve anything.
For example
, the number of successful entrepreneurs and artists who have
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
left
their mark globally from the U. S. A is staggering and includes figures like Steve Jobs, Bill Gates, Michael Jackson, Warren Buffet, and Will Smith. These
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
give encouraging interviews where they reiterate the importance of having passion and grit to achieve transcendent fame.

However
, the cases above are exceptions and considering them the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
rule
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
hurts the self-esteem of the general populace. When an individual is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
told
they can accomplish anything through sheer
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
determination and
they then fail to become rich and successful, they have no one to blame
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
themselves. The truth about the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
connection between
effort and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
achievement
is more nuanced than the platitude
typically
supplied to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
. There is a complex interplay between talent, effort, and luck required to produce great
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
achievements
and all high-achievers are subject to determining factors beyond
simply
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
work. Teaching
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
otherwise
sets them up for self-doubt, disillusionment, and delusions of grandeur that will weigh on them throughout adulthood.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Hard
work is an essential ingredient
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
supposing it guarantees success will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
lead to resentment towards oneself
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
and others
.

In conclusion
, while teaching
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
work ensures
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
achievement
produces great individuals,
overall
, it breeds insecurity. Parents ought to
instead
encourage a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
mindset with less lofty expectations.

IELTS essay In some cultures, children are often told that they can achieve anything if they try hard enough. What are the advantages and disadvantages of giving children this message?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
314 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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