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in some country, school arranges work for students without any payment so that the student get experience. do the pros of this trend overweigh the cons. give your opinion.

in some country, school arranges work for students without any payment so that the student get experience. do the pros of this trend overweigh the cons. give your opinion. 2KBlJ
Some schools provide voluntary work for trainees in order to give them some experience. It is a part of many degree programs. I think the advantages of this trend are more than the disadvantages. I will discuss the points further. The main benefit is to experience the real taste of work or this results in a richer learning experience. Trainees gain some valuable experience by performing several tasks during their intern period. This is coupled with the security of their job and future as well. Some children can secure their jobs during internship programs by performing better than others. For instance, if some students are doing the task better than others, they are observed by seniors. Then they have had more chances of selection in that field. To put it another way, they can convert their internship into full-time jobs. Moreover, these internships also reduce the training-related cost by providing free training to all. Hence, it is beneficial for both institutes and students. What is more, unpaid work helps children to focus more on given tasks and not on money. On the other side, it has few disadvantages. First, various children belong to poor families and they need to work just to earn money. Consequently, unpaid work is not for them. Furthermore, some students are living on their own and they prefer paid jobs for their expenses and cannot get along with such internships. To sum up, unpaid internships have advantages to interns, employers, and institutes. there are few disadvantages but the benefits overpower them.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
schools provide voluntary
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
for trainees in order to give them
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
experience
. It is a part of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
degree programs. I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
the advantages of this trend are more than the disadvantages. I will discuss the points
further
.

The main benefit is to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
experience
the real taste of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
or this results in a richer learning
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
experience
. Trainees gain
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
valuable
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
experience
by performing several tasks during their intern period. This
is coupled
with the security of their job and future
as well
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
children can secure their jobs during internship programs by performing better than others.
For instance
, if
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
students are doing the task better than others, they
are observed
by seniors. Then they have had more chances of selection in that field. To put it another way, they can convert their internship into full-time jobs.

Moreover
, these internships
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
the training-related cost by providing free training to all.
Hence
, it is beneficial for both institutes and students.
What is more
, unpaid
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
children to focus more on
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
tasks and not on money.

On the other side, it has few disadvantages.
First
, various children belong to poor
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
families and
they need to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
to earn money.
Consequently
, unpaid
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
is not for them.
Furthermore
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
students are living on their
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
own and
they prefer paid jobs for their expenses and cannot
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
along with such internships.

To sum up, unpaid internships have advantages to interns, employers, and institutes.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
there
are few disadvantages
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
the benefits overpower them.
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IELTS essay in some country, school arranges work for students without any payment so that the student get experience. do the pros of this trend overweigh the cons. give your opinion.

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
255 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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