Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

Failure is proof that the desire was not strong enough? Do you agree or disagree?

Failure is proof that the desire was not strong enough? 96pw3
It is evident that a person needs to have an indestructible aspiration in order achieve a goal successfully. I completely agree with this statement because unless and until someone directs himself to a certain goal he may lose his concentration and also may not be able to give much time to that specific thing. To start with, anybody struggling with one thing should project his whole concentration on that particular thing otherwise he may be blown away with different waves of wishes that go through everybody’s mind every other minute. For instance, if a person lacks potential in something then his mind gets distracted by other and different things resulting in distribution of his overall strength. In addition, one may not give the time, a special opportunity demands of him, if he’s not fully into it. Every success wants some allocated time. If someone wants a special thing whole heartedly then he’ll probably put all his time and effort into it and would definitely win over. Consequently, anybody must have a powerful desire if he’s willing to gain success. If he would lack interest in something he’s applying for then he can neither give his full attention nor he can serve the time, that material needs, resulting in failure.
It is evident that a person needs to have an indestructible aspiration in order achieve a goal
successfully
. I completely
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with this statement
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
unless and until someone directs himself to a certain goal he may lose his concentration and
also
may not be able to give much
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
to that specific thing.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
with, anybody
The pronoun 'anybody' is usually used with a third-person or a past tense verb: "struggles", "struggled".
struggling
with one thing should project his whole concentration on that particular thing
otherwise
he may
be blown
away with
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
waves of wishes that go through everybody’s mind every other minute.
For instance
, if a person lacks potential in something then his mind
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
gets
distracted by other and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
things resulting in distribution of his
overall
strength.

In addition
, one may not give the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
, a special opportunity demands of him, if
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
he’s
not
fully
into it. Every success wants
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
allocated
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
. If someone wants a special thing whole
heartedly
then he’ll
probably
put all his
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
and effort into it and would definitely win over.

Consequently
, anybody
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
have a powerful desire if
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
he’s
willing to gain success. If he
Consider removing 'would'. (Usually, 'would' does not occur in a conditional clause, unless to make a request or give a polite order.)
would lack
interest in something
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
he’s
applying for then he can neither give his full
Use a comma before 'nor' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
attention nor
he can serve the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
, that material needs, resulting in failure.
What do you think?
  • This is funny writingFunny
  • I love this writingLove
  • This writing has blown my mindWow
  • It made me angryAngry
  • It made me sadSad

IELTS essay Failure is proof that the desire was not strong enough?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
209 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Recent posts
  • 6.5band
    ADVANTAGES AND DISADVANTAGES OF MASS TOURISM
    Tourism is a smoke-free industry, one that has brought a source of revenue to the National Economy. Tourism has numerous advantages besides that, it has disadvantages too. Mass tourism has lots of advantages. First of all, the tourists will have good graphs of languages. For instance, when they are...
  • 6band
    Should murderers be charged with death penalty?
    Almost everyone would agree with the fact that, in order to live peacefully and co-exist with other humans, society ought to have rules and boundaries. When someone disobeys the rules or oversteps the boundaries, the court takes action with acts of punishment so as to serve justice. Some crimes and ...
  • 5band
    What is your travel story?
    When we talk about travel, all of the people start to think about it or imaginate something. if you give me a question that "Have you ever been any country? ", I said yes. When I was a second year at my bachelor degree, I just really wanted to travel some countries such as Turkey, Italy, France or s...
  • 6band
    Agree or disagree about celebrities high incom
    Several people considered that if you have a harder profession You should have greater income either. therefore they acknowledge some jobs are unreasonably overpaid and those who have these jobs don't deserve amounts. One group of them whose earning controversial is celebrities. in my opinion, they ...
  • 6.5band
    Sending criminals to jails is the best?
    It is irrefutable that the absence of justice representatives is one of the chief instigators to the soaring crime rate over recent years. There arises a highly controversial topic of general interest whether beefing up the police force is infinitely superior to other forms to remedy unlawful engage...
  • 6band
    Nowadays, computers are used in almost every field, but parents do not allow their children to use computers. Why is this? How can we change it?
    Nowadays, computers are used in almost every field, but parents do not allow their children to use computers. Why is this? How can we change it? Technological improvements are already part of us and we all need to adapt to them for the sake of developing any society. Computers are an essential pa...





Get more results for topic:
  • Failure is proof that the desire was not strong enough? Do you agree or disagree?