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In some countries, university students live away from home and in another city while studying. Do you think the disadvantages outweigh advantages of living in another city.

In some countries, university students live away from home and in another city while studying. Do you think the disadvantages outweigh advantages of living in another city. g5yQ7
In many parts of the world, university students are living away from parents for better education in remote areas. I believe that merits are more than demerits of above phenomenon. there are a number of benefits of living in another city, to begin with, juveniles become independent and make their decision by own because in home, they depend upon their family members and do not decise by own, this problem harm them in future. Apart from that, they will become self-reliant by making food and washing cloths by themselves. in the USA, for instance, seen that 60% of learners have freedom to make their carrier. Moreover, some people argue that, undergraduates living in hostels, p. g become socialize and can learn culture of others. For example, during the survey, it was seen that most of individuals learn interpersonal skills by living away from home. What is more, they can do tackle daunting tasks and even do hard work like managing saving money. Some are the negative effect living alone. First, some students are emotionally attach with family and can not live without them; this situation leads to isolation and depression. In 2018, student of Punjab, living away from parents, sucide due to loneliness. During emergency, students faced problems due to lack of family support such as illness. Learners living in hostels mix-up with wrong people and do illegal activities like drug addictive because parents can not keep an eagle eye on them. In 2020, it was seen that, most of learners facing low grade in tertiary education due to wrong friends. To encapsulate, I reiterate my opinion that pros outweigh cons of living in urban areas away from parents.
In
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
parts of the world, university
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
living
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
away
from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
for better education in remote areas. I believe that merits are more than demerits of above phenomenon.

This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
there
are a number of benefits of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
living
in another city, to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, juveniles become independent and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
their decision by
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
in home, they depend upon their family members and do not
Possible spelling mistake found.
decise
by
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
, this problem harm them
Did you mean: "in the future"?
in future
. Apart from that, they will become self-reliant by making food and washing cloths by themselves.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
in
the USA,
for instance
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
that 60% of learners have freedom to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
their carrier.
Moreover
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
argue that, undergraduates
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
living
in hostels, p. g become socialize and can learn culture of others.
For example
, during the survey, it was
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
that
After 'most of', you should use 'the' ("most of the individuals") or simply say "most individuals".
most of individuals
learn interpersonal
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
living
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
away
from home.
What is more
, they can do tackle daunting tasks and even do
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
work like managing saving money.

This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
are the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
effect
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
living
alone.
First
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
are
emotionally
Consider using a past participle here: "attached".
attach
with family and can not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
without them; this situation leads to isolation and depression. In 2018,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
student
of Punjab,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
living
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
away
from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
,
Possible spelling mistake found.
sucide
due to loneliness. During emergency,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
faced problems due to lack of family support such as illness. Learners
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
living
in hostels mix-up with
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
wrong
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
and do illegal activities like drug addictive
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
can not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
an eagle eye on them. In 2020, it was
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
that,
After 'most of', you should use 'the' ("most of the learners") or simply say "most learners".
most of learners
facing low grade in tertiary education due to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
wrong
friends.

To encapsulate, I reiterate my opinion that pros outweigh cons of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
living
in urban areas
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
away
from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
.
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IELTS essay In some countries, university students live away from home and in another city while studying. Do you think the disadvantages outweigh advantages of living in another city.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
279 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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