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In some countries there are women taking positions in male dominated occupations such as police officers and soldiers. Some people believe that women are not suited to such work. To what extend do you agree or disagree?

In some countries there are women taking positions in male dominated occupations such as police officers and soldiers. Some people believe that women are not suited to such work. DwJeA
Nowadays, gender inequality is a hot topic of debate when it comes to pursuing their carrier. Despite this, today women in some countries designate many positions both in police and military that were once dominated by men. But some argue that women are not fit for these positions, which I disagree with. I believe, even females should be given equal representation in these job sectors and this essay will discuss why it is important. Firstly, it is true that it is difficult for a woman to be in the army or a police department because of the physical hardship involved with the work. But this does not mean that they should be given less acceptance, because there are certain areas where women perform better than men. For instance, women are proactive thinkers and this helps in quick decision making while in case of any emergency situations. In addition to it, they also show good leadership quality that is necessary for leading a troop of soldiers or a squad of police officers. Therefore, it is important to give them a fair chance to all these departments. Secondly, with the improvement in women rights and their educational backgrounds, they are now competent enough to enrol in these defence forces. If a woman is given a chance in the police department she can make sure that the law and order is strictly enforced which in turn reduces violence against women. Also, this will be a motivation to other women in the society to pursue their dream professions. Thus, they now have the right to seek any profession of their choice, and no one can judge them for that. To conclude, although some think that women are not suitable for male dominated occupations such as police and soldiers, these days they have proven to be suitable enough for these roles. So, I feel that they should be given equal opportunity as men.
Nowadays, gender inequality is a hot topic of debate when it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
comes
to pursuing their carrier. Despite this,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
countries designate
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
positions both in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
police
and military that were once dominated by
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
men
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
argue that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
are not fit for these positions, which I disagree with. I believe, even females should be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
equal representation in these job sectors and this essay will discuss why it is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
.

Firstly
, it is true that it is difficult for a woman to be in the army or a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
police
department
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of the physical hardship involved with the work.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
this does not mean that they should be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
less acceptance,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
there are certain areas where
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
perform better than
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
men
.
For instance
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
are proactive thinkers and this
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
in quick
This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
decision making
while in case of any emergency situations.
In addition
to it, they
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
leadership quality
that is
necessary for leading a troop of soldiers or a squad of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
police
officers.
Therefore
, it is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
to give them a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
fair
chance to all these departments.

Secondly
, with the improvement in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
rights and their educational backgrounds, they are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
competent
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
to enrol in these
Possible spelling mistake. 'defence' is British English.
defence
forces. If a woman is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
a chance in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
police
department she can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
sure that the law and order is
strictly
enforced which in turn
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduces
violence against
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
.
Also
, this will be a motivation to other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
in the society to pursue their dream professions.
Thus
, they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
have the right to seek any profession of their choice, and no one can judge them for that.

To conclude
, although
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
are not suitable for male dominated occupations such as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
police
and soldiers, these days they have proven to be suitable
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
for these roles.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
, I feel that they should be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
equal opportunity as
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
men
.
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IELTS essay In some countries there are women taking positions in male dominated occupations such as police officers and soldiers. Some people believe that women are not suited to such work.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
318 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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