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In some countries, the old age is more valued, while in some countries the youth is more valued. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

In some countries, the old age is more valued, while in some countries the youth is more valued. j7AL
Population diversity is significant for nations to ensure equilibrium in resource utilization and growth. However, the approach towards each group would be different. It is argued by some that aged people are more important than young adults. In my opinion, both are integral aspects of an ecosystem. This essay would discuss both sides before reaching a comprehended conclusion. To embark with, old citizens carry traditions, values, and cultures along as they progress through life. The countries would forget their cultural paths and get misguided if the traditions, customs, and values are neglected in any way. To extend this further, grandparents and ancestors have paved their ways to become who they are today. The hardships and struggles are extremely crucial to learn respect for our resources and surroundings. Not only this, the presence of elders would inculcate various interpersonal qualities such as values in the form of rhymes and stories to children. Thus, children enjoy them and learn the lessons for their life ahead. In contrast, some strata of society advocate that youth is more important for a nation; hence they ought to be valued more than aged. Various supporting arguments are; youth is essential for economic growth and highly tech-savvy as compared to an old generation. To work and earn revenue for the country, the old generation has proven to be redundant and reluctant, whereas the younger generation is likely more enthusiastic and energetic. Countries need these human resources to sustain economic growth. For instance, a country like Canada is welcoming a lot of young adults to boost overall growth. Another reason is that aged people are not familiar with the latest technology. Admittedly, young adults are skilled to operate various mechanical devices and are ready to work for the industry. In conclusion, although there is a continuous debate regarding valuing the elderly or appreciating the youth of a nation. I believe, both age groups are pivotal for the holistic growth of a country in terms of keeping customs and traditions alive along with the economic boom.
Population diversity is significant for nations to ensure equilibrium in resource utilization and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
growth
.
However
, the approach towards each group would be
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
. It
is argued
by
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
that aged
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
are more
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
than young adults. In my opinion, both are integral aspects of an ecosystem. This essay would discuss both sides
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
reaching a comprehended conclusion.

To embark with,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
citizens carry traditions, values, and cultures along as they progress through life. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
would forget their cultural paths and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
misguided if the traditions, customs, and values
are neglected
in any way. To extend this
further
, grandparents and ancestors have paved their ways to become who they are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
. The hardships and struggles are
extremely
crucial to learn respect for our resources and surroundings. Not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
this, the presence of elders would inculcate various interpersonal qualities such as values in the form of rhymes and stories to children.
Thus
, children enjoy them and learn the lessons for their life ahead.

In contrast
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
strata of society advocate that youth is more
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
for a nation;
hence
they ought to
be valued
more than aged. Various supporting arguments are; youth is essential for economic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
growth
and
highly
tech-savvy as compared to an
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
generation. To work and earn revenue for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
, the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
generation has proven to be redundant and reluctant, whereas the younger generation is likely more enthusiastic and energetic.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Countries
need these human resources to sustain economic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
growth
.
For instance
, a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
like Canada is welcoming
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
young adults to boost
overall
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
growth
. Another reason is that aged
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
are not familiar with the latest technology.
Admittedly
, young adults
are skilled
to operate various mechanical devices and are ready to work for the industry.

In conclusion
, although there is a continuous debate regarding valuing the elderly or appreciating the youth of a nation. I believe, both age groups are pivotal for the holistic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
growth
of a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
in terms of keeping customs and traditions alive along with the economic boom.

IELTS essay In some countries, the old age is more valued, while in some countries the youth is more valued.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
337 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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