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In some countries the lifestyle of people ia changing rapidly and this affects family relationships. Do the advantages of this trend outweigh the disadvantags?

In some countries the lifestyle of people ia changing rapidly and this affects family relationships. Do the advantages of this trend outweigh the disadvantags? KnldN
In present time people are modern and they live independently with new present life style. In many countries living standards of communities changes drastically and these changes effects their life positively as well negatively. This essay will discuss both impacts on their life with examples. Firts pf all, it is good devlepement of society, because of family members are more close to each other by spending lot of time. In todays world parents are treat their childrens as a friends and it is also increase the bonding between parents and child. For instance in past guardians are more strict and it was a reason of less openess in their relation. Secondly, nowadays relatives feels very close ti each one by usi g smart tecnologies and always connected with their family members. Internet is also one of the way to solve many disputes through chats and video callings. It is help them to solve issues bt sending messages, for example sometime people not face someone to say sorry or reaolving some issues. In that case todays social sites help them. Although, through this networking they are feel connected, yet they are live in other country or state. On the otherhand, current lifestyle also changes their choices. In old days members are enjoy to stay in one roof with their parents and uncles, but now they want to live alone with separate home. It is one of the big change happens in our society. They feel comfort in neuclear families and live independently in small group. Whereas some person still living with their close ones, but they are too busy in their job, fast life, and families. Even they live as a joint family, but acually they are lost in their work and responsibilities. Last but not the least, one of the impact of this changes are, old age parenta are alone in that time, when they had a need of their childs support. Adults are busy in earnings and they forget about their parents. To sum up, changes are important for development and survival in this world, but they had more cons as compare to pros.
In present time
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
are
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
modern and
they
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
live
independently
with new present
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
style. In
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
countries living standards of communities
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
changes
drastically
and these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
changes
effects their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
positively
as well
negatively
. This essay will discuss both impacts on their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
with examples.
Possible spelling mistake found.
Firts
pf all, it is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
Possible spelling mistake found.
devlepement
of society,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
members are more close to each other by spending
It seems that an article is missing.
lot of
time. In
Possible spelling mistake found.
todays
world
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
are treat their
Possible spelling mistake found.
childrens
as a friends and it is
also
Consider using a past participle here: "increased".
increase
the bonding between
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
and child.
For instance
in past guardians are more strict and it was a reason of less
Possible spelling mistake found.
openess
in their relation.
Secondly
, nowadays relatives feels
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
close ti each one by
Possible spelling mistake found.
usi
g smart
Possible spelling mistake found.
tecnologies
and always connected with their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
members. Internet is
also
one of the way to solve
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
disputes through chats and video callings. It is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
them to solve issues
Possible spelling mistake found.
bt
sending messages,
for example
sometime
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
not face someone to say sorry or
Possible spelling mistake found.
reaolving
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
issues.
In that case
Possible spelling mistake found.
todays
social sites
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
them. Although, through this networking they are feel connected,
yet
they are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
live
in other country or state. On the
Possible spelling mistake found.
otherhand
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
current
lifestyle
also
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
changes
their choices. In
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
days members are
Consider using a past participle here: "enjoyed".
enjoy
to stay in one roof with their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
and uncles,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
they want to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
live
alone with separate home. It is one of the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
change
happens in our society. They feel comfort in
Possible spelling mistake found.
neuclear
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
families
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
live
independently
in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
group. Whereas
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
person
still
living with their close ones,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
they are too busy in their job,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
fast
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
, and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
families
. Even they
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
live
as a joint
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
Possible spelling mistake found.
acually
they
are lost
in their work and responsibilities. Last
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
not the least, one of the impact of
Did you mean "these"?
this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
changes
are,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
age
Possible spelling mistake found.
parenta
are alone in that time, when they had a need of their
Possible spelling mistake. Did you mean "children", the plural form of the noun 'child'?
childs
support. Adults are busy in
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
earnings and
they forget about their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
. To sum up,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
changes
are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
for development and survival in this world,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
they had more cons as compare to pros.
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IELTS essay In some countries the lifestyle of people ia changing rapidly and this affects family relationships. Do the advantages of this trend outweigh the disadvantags?

Essay
  American English
1 paragraphs
355 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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