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Social media is becoming increasingly popular amongst all age groups. However, sharing personal information on social media websites does have risks. Do you think that the advantages of social media outweigh the disadvantages?

With the advent of internet, lot of new avenues were opened for people in form which they communicate and share information with each other. Most popular of them are the sundry social websites like Facebook, Twitter etcetra. These platforms have ubiquitous influence on people of all age groups and their users are increasing at an exponential rate. But nowadays there is debate going on various news channel and in people that information shared on these media is not secure and can be acquired by any company easily. But in my opinion, I think still the advantages of social media overshadow its disadvantages. To embark on, the social media has revolutionized the means by which people used to communicate. Firstly, people can talk to their friends and families at very fast speed and it does not cost too high, what people need is an internet connection and smart phone or laptop. Secondly, on websites like Facebook, people can create accounts and friends, they can share photographs on it. The fascinating thing about it is that one can get instant reaction from kith and kins that are online. Hence, the social media has played he role of bridging gap between friend and relative who are apart thousands of miles. Every thing has its two side, if there is shining side, there will be a dark side also and same is the case with social websites. Though they many advantages, but they are closely followed by disadvantages too. The most serious issue with these platforms and which haunt the people most is theft of personal information and data. There are thousands of cases in which information of people, like email id's, credit credential were leaked to some other platforms that misused them. Secondly, the content that people used see on their platforms was also manipulated to influence there thoughts during voting in some countries, questioning the credibility of such websites. To conclude, I would reiterate my decision that advantages of these media eclipses the disadvantages.
With the advent of internet,
It seems that an article is missing.
lot of
new avenues
were opened
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
in form which they communicate and share
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
with each other. Most popular of them are the sundry
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
websites like Facebook, Twitter
Possible spelling mistake found.
etcetra
. These
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
platforms
have ubiquitous influence on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
of all age groups and their users are increasing at an exponential rate.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
nowadays there is debate going on various news channel and in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
shared on these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
is not secure and can
be acquired
by any
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
easily
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
in my opinion, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
still
the advantages of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
overshadow its disadvantages.

To embark on, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
has revolutionized the means by which
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to communicate.
Firstly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can talk to their friends and families at
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
fast
Use a comma before ‘and’ if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
speed and
it does not cost too high, what
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
need is an internet connection and
Nowadays it’s more common to write this as one word.
smart phone
or laptop.
Secondly
, on websites like Facebook,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can create accounts and friends, they can share photographs on it. The fascinating thing about it is that one can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
instant reaction from kith and
Possible spelling mistake. Did you mean “kin”, the plural form of the noun ‘kin’?
kins
that are online.
Hence
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
has played
Do not use a noun immediately after the pronoun ‘he’. Use a verb or an adverb, or possibly some other part of speech.
he role
of bridging gap between friend and relative who are apart thousands of miles.

Every thing has its two side, if there is shining side, there will be a dark side
also
and same is the case with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
websites. Though they
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
advantages,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
they are
closely
followed by disadvantages too. The most serious issue with these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
platforms
and which haunt the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
most is theft of personal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
and data. There are thousands of cases in which
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
, like email id's, credit credential
were leaked
to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
platforms
that misused them.
Secondly
, the content that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
on their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
platforms
was
also
manipulated to influence there thoughts during voting in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
countries, questioning the credibility of such websites.

To conclude
, I would reiterate my decision that advantages of these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
eclipses the disadvantages.
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IELTS essay Social media is becoming increasingly popular amongst all age groups. However, sharing personal information on social media websites does have risks. Do you think that the advantages of social media outweigh the disadvantages?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
332 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
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