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In some countries the average weight of people is increasing and their levels of health and fitness are decreasing. What do you think are the causes of these problems and what measures could be taken to solve them?

In some countries the average weight of people is increasing and their levels of health and fitness are decreasing. What do you think are the causes of these problems and what measures could be taken to solve them? XKxq
Recently the phenomenon has aroused wide concern people's average weight which is associated to the decreasing of society's well-being due to myriad ailments emerge unpredictably. This essay aims to elaborate a number of contributing factors and presents some straightforward measures to resolve these issues. One could think of various causes why the average weight of people today is rising up. First and foremost, the influence of globalisation in today's world has led people eating more processed food rather than consume a balanced diet. Moreover, individuals face plenty of business and have a limited time to pay attention about the type of their meals and tend to buy junk food. Consequently, their health levels are actually decreasing because of imbalance nutrients. Turning to possible solutions, probably the most effective measure is to improve society awareness of healthy lifestyle. In particular, by showing some commercial channels with celebrity endorsements about the unwelcome effects of unhealthy habits. Secondly, the educational systems should play a prominent role to encourage children controlling body weight and preserving body health. In addition, the government is able to make collaborations between health practitioner and the minister of health in order to give essential prevention of illnes. Daily gymnastic programmes for all family members, for example, can consciously improve people's body immune and fitness. As a result, average weight of people will declining while the levels of well-shape and fitness will firmly increasing. By way of conlusion, the problems caused are both globalisation and business lifestyle, and the possible solutions should involve coordinated action by celebrities, the systems of education, and government.
Recently the phenomenon has aroused wide concern
people
's average
weight
which
is associated
to the decreasing of society's well-being due to myriad ailments emerge
unpredictably
. This essay aims to elaborate a number of contributing factors and presents
some
straightforward measures to resolve these issues.

One could
think
of various causes why the average
weight
of
people
today
is rising up.
First
and foremost, the influence of
globalisation
in
today
's world has led
people
eating more processed food
rather
than consume a balanced diet.
Moreover
, individuals face
plenty
of business and have a limited time to pay attention about the type of their meals and tend to
buy
junk food.
Consequently
, their
health
levels are actually decreasing
because
of imbalance nutrients.

Turning to possible solutions,
probably
the most effective measure is to
improve
society awareness of healthy lifestyle.
In particular
, by showing
some
commercial channels with celebrity endorsements about the unwelcome effects of unhealthy habits.
Secondly
, the educational systems should play a prominent role to encourage children controlling body
weight
and preserving body
health
.
In addition
, the
government
is able to
make
collaborations between
health
practitioner and the minister of
health
in order to give essential prevention of
illnes
. Daily gymnastic
programmes
for all family members,
for example
, can
consciously
improve
people
's body immune and fitness.
As a result
, average
weight
of
people
will declining while the levels of well-shape and fitness will
firmly
increasing
.

By way of
conlusion
, the problems caused are both
globalisation
and business lifestyle, and the possible solutions should involve coordinated action by celebrities, the systems of education, and
government
.
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IELTS essay In some countries the average weight of people is increasing and their levels of health and fitness are decreasing. What do you think are the causes of these problems and what measures could be taken to solve them?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
263 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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