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In some countries the average weight of people is increasing and their levels of health and fitness are decreasing. What do you think are the causes of these problems and what measure could be taken to solve them?

It is clear that in the modern world, advances in technology lead to change people's lifestyle. In some societies, the percentage of obesity is rising dramatically which causes to emerge health problems and low quality of fitness. In this essay I discuss some problems associated with causing overweight and suggest some solutions. Due to development in technology, in the most industrial countries, high proportion of factories has been automation and the employees do not impose to work physically. Another issue is that, these days because of easy accesses to purchase car, most people possess their own vehicles or use reliable public transport, so with increasing in convenient transport, the amount of walking to workplaces has been declined. In addition, with existing a wide range of technological devices, the methods of amusements have been altered. Nowadays most youngsters prefer to use electronic devices such as TV, laptop and mobile phone rather than other outdoor activities in their leisure time. Due to these features, individuals lead a sedentary lifestyle and with lack of physical activities some people might to be overweight and lose fitness. The major disadvantage of obesity is health-problem, because getting fat has a key role in some detrimental diseases such as heart-attack and diabetes. However, there are some various steps that people could take to tackle those problems. Firstly, they could use bicycle to go to work, or if the workplace is far, they would walk some part of the way. Secondly, employees could run extra and free sports activities after work to encourage employees to attend these courses, for example some popular sports like yoga and swimming which can enables workers to relieve stress and also it is really beneficial for health condition. A third option would be to publicize the threats of obesity by government. They have to be aware citizens about the drawbacks of using gadgets instead of physical activities. In conclusion, people could certainly strive their best to get avoid of getting fat to have healthy life and retain their vitality.
It is
clear
that in the modern world, advances in technology lead to
change
people
's lifestyle. In
some
societies, the percentage of obesity is rising
dramatically
which causes
to emerge
health problems and low quality of fitness. In this essay I discuss
some
problems associated with causing overweight and suggest
some
solutions.

Due to development in technology, in the most industrial countries, high proportion of factories has been automation and the employees do not impose to work
physically
. Another issue is that, these days
because
of easy accesses to
purchase
car, most
people
possess their
own
vehicles or
use
reliable public transport,
so
with increasing in convenient transport, the amount of walking to workplaces has
been declined
.
In addition
, with existing a wide range of technological devices, the methods of amusements have
been altered
. Nowadays most youngsters prefer to
use
electronic devices such as TV, laptop and mobile phone
rather
than other outdoor activities in their leisure time. Due to these features, individuals lead a sedentary lifestyle and with lack of physical activities
some
people
might to be overweight and lose fitness. The major disadvantage of obesity is health-problem,
because
getting
fat
has a key role in
some
detrimental diseases such as heart-attack and diabetes.

However
, there are
some
various steps that
people
could take to tackle those problems.
Firstly
, they could
use
bicycle to go to work, or if the workplace is far, they would walk
some
part of the way.
Secondly
, employees could run extra and free sports activities after work to encourage employees to attend these courses,
for example
some
popular sports like yoga and swimming which can enables workers to relieve
stress
and
also
it is
really
beneficial for health condition. A third option would be to publicize the threats of obesity by
government
. They
have to
be aware citizens about the drawbacks of using gadgets
instead
of physical activities.

In conclusion
,
people
could
certainly
strive their best to
get
avoid of getting
fat
to have healthy life and retain their vitality.
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IELTS essay In some countries the average weight of people is increasing and their levels of health and fitness are decreasing. What do you think are the causes of these problems and what measure could be taken to solve them?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
336 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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    Currently is not available
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