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In some countries, small town-Centre shops are going out of business because people tend to drive to large out-of-town stores. As a result, people without cars have limited access to out-of-town stores, and it may result in an increase in the use of cars. Do the advantages of this development outweigh the disadvantages?

In some countries, small town-Centre shops are going out of business because people tend to drive to large out-of-town stores. As a result, people without cars have limited access to out-of-town stores, and it may result in an increase in the use of cars. Do the advantages of this development outweigh the disadvantages? pqQ9
As a result of urbanization, cities are now surrounded by suburbs, and these areas often feature a large mall or shopping centre. The concentration of products in one location make these retail outlets attractive destinations for consumers, who almost without exception drive to them. Despite the benefits of these all-in-one locations, there are some notable drawbacks that should be considered. Beginning with the positive aspects, it is clear that a gigantic mall offers more choice to the consumer. Moreover, the large chain stores that populate these shopping centres generally offer cheaper prices due to economies of scale. A further convenience is that a considerable amount of the population resides in suburban zones, so these large shopping centers are actually closer to people than traditional stores situated in the central business district. Nevertheless, there are some highly undesirable effects of this situation. For one, large stores and malls are operated by monolithic corporations who run small shop owners out of business, while not returning much to the local community. In fact, Walmart, one of the largest mega-stores in the United States receives a massive amount of government welfare, while locally-owned businesses are forced into bankruptcy and even Walmart employees are paid minimum wage and often rely on government handouts. Not to mention, the almost ubiquitous practice of driving to malls and large chain stores puts a strain on local transport infrastructure, increasing traffic congestion and contributing to air pollution. Overall, while having everything available in one location is undeniably convenient, the harm to local communities is similarly clear. As the saying goes, ‘You can’t have your cake and eat it too’, and in this instance it seems that the benefits of large stores is outweighed by the economic and social harm they cause.
As a result
of urbanization, cities are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
surrounded by suburbs, and these areas
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
feature a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
large
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
mall
or shopping
Possible spelling mistake. 'centre' is British English.
centre
. The concentration of products in one location
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
these retail outlets attractive destinations for consumers, who almost without exception drive to them. Despite the benefits of these all-in-one locations, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
notable drawbacks that should
be considered
.

Beginning with the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
aspects, it is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
that a gigantic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
mall
offers more choice to the consumer.
Moreover
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
large
chain
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
stores
that populate these shopping
Possible spelling mistake. 'centres' is British English.
centres
generally
offer cheaper prices due to economies of scale. A
further
convenience is that a considerable amount of the population resides in suburban zones,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
large
shopping centers are actually closer to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
than traditional
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
stores
situated in the central business district.

Nevertheless
, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
highly
undesirable effects of this situation. For one,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
large
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
stores
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
malls
are operated
by monolithic corporations who run
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
shop owners out of business, while not returning much to the local community. In fact, Walmart, one of the largest mega-stores in the United States receives a massive amount of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
welfare, while
locally
-
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
owned
businesses
are forced
into bankruptcy and even Walmart employees
are paid
minimum wage and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
rely on
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
handouts. Not to mention, the almost ubiquitous practice of driving to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
malls
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
large
chain
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
stores
puts a strain on local transport infrastructure, increasing traffic congestion and contributing to air pollution.

Overall
, while having everything available in one location is
undeniably
convenient, the harm to local communities is
similarly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
. As the saying goes, ‘You can’t have your cake and eat it too’, and in this instance it seems that the benefits of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
large
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
stores
is outweighed
by the economic and social harm they cause.
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IELTS essay In some countries, small town-Centre shops are going out of business because people tend to drive to large out-of-town stores. As a result, people without cars have limited access to out-of-town stores, and it may result in an increase in the use of cars. Do the advantages of this development outweigh the disadvantages?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
292 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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